Tragedy Comes On A Calm Wind

Maybe she was a junkie...she had junkie eyes. But that was probably due to the morphine they gave her (they did give her morphine – I saw them). Maybe she was twenty... maybe younger, who can tell? All I know is she was there, impossibly wedged in, looking at me like a lost and depressed lover from under that No.7 bus. At times I thought I saw her move, but I wasn’t sure... it was hard to see through the crowd, and beyond it, the police and the firemen. All I could be sure of was she was unfairly pinned to the tarmac by 7 tonnes of steel, metal and plastic.

Our bus was just to the side, the large windows like a cinema screen. The road leading out of the bus station had been blocked off. We stayed there a good hour watching in shocked horror as the fire brigade tried to free her. What one would imagine to be a delicate operation was carried out with lumps of timber, a heavy duty jack, an industrial grinder and a pair of large metal cutters... it was an excruciatingly slow process. That wasn’t anyones fault or bad practice... it was the only way. Her leg was broken and mangled in the bus’s undercarriage, her arm bent in the way as when children twist a Barbie doll’s arm 180 degrees. How she ended that far under what should have been a slow moving bus is impossible to fathom... when one looks there is barely enough space for a new born child to pass through unscathed.

Many people left our bus... Some to walk home, others just to get a better and closer look. I understand this. I understand trying to understand death... up close and impersonal. What I don’t understand is life, and within it the people who remained seated, cursing the poor girl for getting smashed during the rush hour. Once again the crudeness of a world ruled by money and time was here, unashamedly still pushing on... still screaming for life to move ever faster. It was this crudeness that was my reason for alighting and joining the crowds around the police cordon. At least there I was amongst the caring.

Balancing on the tips of my toes I strained to get a proper glimpse. This was not because I have a morbid obsession with death, I don’t. I have seen too much death to be obsessed by it. Rather, I had a base instinct to know if this girl was dead or alive... If I had stumbled through yet another obscene tragedy. That which I had earlier took for her talking was in fact the firefighters talking to her.. either soothing a terribly injured girl or trying to wake the dead. It wasn’t clear, but there seemed to be movement. I mentioned this to the shocked man besides me: “I think she’s moving?” I said/asked, hoping to get a reassuring nod. But all I got was a hand sliding from over the mouth to the eyes and a cried and desperate “OH NO... oh no..” I followed his line of vision and watched as a white van rolled into the scene. On the side was written: ‘Reanimation unit’. That “Oh no” was now an unbearable sound... especially from a man’s mouth. It was full of all the grief of the terrible and the unwanted... it was an instinctive groan.

‘Reanimation’, what a horrible word. The ‘reanimation’ of the dead... the 'reanimation' of a life. It probably doesn’t have that significance in french, but into english it is an awful name and an even worse presence. A paramedic appeared from each door of the White van and each went to the back. Two returned with a stretcher, one with the oxygen and the other with the defibrillator. They stood waiting in the wings, ready to earn their bread... ready to break the chestbone... Ready to pass an arrow of electricity through the heart.

The young girls body was finally unhinged from the wreckage, rolled over onto the back and carried clear of the raised and broken bus. The leg was already protected, encased in a moulded strapped boot, the arm held down against the the body. The reanimation team approached, had a look and then backed away... they were of no use here. The young girl was lifted and placed on the red-blanketed stretcher of the ambulance and covered, but not completely. She was alive, though in a very poor state. There was still no movement, just the firemen* who raised the stretcher and placed it in the back of the ambulance. It moved off first, without sirens and in no particular haste.. The ‘Reanimation unit’ was close behind followed by a police car. Soon all three were out of sight.

With the undetermined close of the spectacle, the crowd of onlookers dispersed and the exit from the station was cleared. I got back on my bus and sat back down in the same seat. Looking out upon the site of the accident it was hard to believe what had just taken place. Now there was nothing... no blood, no ambulance, no equipment, just two policemen and a parked up and out of service bus. No clue at all of that which had just passed. And that’s it... that’s how this life moves on. Things come and things go, some things are born and other things die. Some live a healthy life and others take the freeway. It doesn’t matter, because death is often indiscriminate and always unfair. I sat and thought about this as our bus pulled away, following the route of the ambulance for a while before turning off. I should be dead, I thought, or at least seriously ill... instead I am watching others fall victim to what is all too frequently a cruel and callous life.

The bus made its way along the route. Some people got on and others got off. Gradually sounds returned as we that had witnessed the accident became the minority. The early evening opened up ahead of us, the sky darkened a couple of tones and the smells off the city and of home became stronger. Life was back, noisy and oblivious to all. Suffering and pain do not exist here and if they do we usually do something about it... all of us. The next time we will be silent again, it will be too late...way too late. But such warnings are useless and futile... they are a waste of time. How can one ever prepare for the unprepareable? We can’t. And tragedy is unprepareable, she gives no warning. The birds don’t scatter from the trees and the dogs don’t cower or take cover. No, when tragedy arrives she blows in on a calm and silent wind, and it’s very similar to the one that is blowing right now.

Take care Readers... and mind your step. All My best, Shane.

*In france if you dial for an ambulance you get the fire brigade... they carry out a dual role. The back of a french fire truck is better equipped medically than a British ambulance.

As forthe girl, I don't know what finally became of her. I've searched the internet and the local papers, but found nothing. I take it she lived, as a death involving public transport almost always makes the news. Fingers crossed.

56 comments :

Anonymous said...

I wonder why people are so obsessed with death. I don't mean you but those who gather near the accident place to watch.
My husband told me a story he saw a girl who got under a bus too. Lots of people gathered around to stare but noone called the ambulance.
I also remember a roof of a water park being crushed over the heads of those who was inside. This place is quite close to where I live and I saw hundreds of people come on that day and the next couple of days not because their friends or family members were injured and not because they were passing by and saw but intentionally came to that place to watch.

Memoirs of a Heroinhead said...

Aluajala,

Hiya... thank you fo the comment.
I think people are obsessed with death because it is our final state, and to accept that we need to experience it in others. It why after 80 years of living many people no longer have the youthful fear of death hat they once had. When one has seen their parents die and their loved ones, death becomes more acceptable.

My worry was the people who stayed on the bus, angry with the girl for getting hit by the bus. That is the real tragedy of human nature... not the crowd.

I hope that goes someway to answer your comment... I hope you & your husband are well, Best wishes as ever, Shane.

Melody Lee said...

That sounds truly horrific! When it comes to tragedy and danger, I have always been one to bury my head in the sand, after all, you can't be frightened by possible consequences if you refuse to see them coming. Not a great method for coping with unpleasantness but I don't think I would have survived the streets otherwise, I would have gone mad or simply expired from sheer anxiety. I suppose it's not a stretch to say that the H also helped to numb the senses...common senses?

mikimbizii said...

People are too caught up in everyday trivialities to think of death.But when it suddently looms up larger than life and with all its sadness and horror, they forget their mundane activities and are forced to stare, fascinated at this enigma, that strikes always without warning.Some people are too numb, by too many care or lack of it, to take any notice it.
In some ways isnt that better? why gape at a soulless body, when it is beyond help?
But as long as life remains, hope remains. Hope that girl lives!

This post is awesome!U've a knack for keeping people's attention.
Goodluck !
- Mikimbizi.

Anonymous said...

It's weird if you look you feel kinda ghoulish, but if ya didn't it might show ya don't care. I liked this post a lot, because it kinda holds a mirror up to our faces and whenever you look in a mirror you see things you both like and don't like.
Love as always and Hope the sunshines in your heart today my friend
Nick XX

Memoirs of a Heroinhead said...

Hiya Melody,

thanks for coming across and reading. Me I've no qualms about such things. There is almost nothing that I canot bare. I don't know what it is, and I don't know if it's healthy or not, but I can arrange things in my mind where they are still harrowing but not haunting. Of course, there are sme things and I htink if this girl had died (there on he spot) her eyes would have haunted me. I don't know. It's rare I cannot bare something and have to turn my head.

Hope you're well over there.. I'll be across to your blog soon. All m best, Shane. x

Memoirs of a Heroinhead said...

Mikimbizi,

Hiyaand thanks for your time and input... it means a lot.

I think that when we see death we always relate to it in aselfis way. In a manner we always see a dead body as ourselves and we try to come to terms with the fact that one day that will be our own fate. I think the fascination with death is a natural one... it hows our fear more than anything else.

I don't think anyone watched in entertainment.. I hope not. But for some reason I think I'm probably wrong...

Thanks for all you say and the compliment. best wishes, Shane.

Herbert Barry Woodrose said...

This is so surreal, it's like a math equation. One part pinned-girl, equal parts concerned onlookers and unconcerned narcissists. Stir in police, add a pinch of emergency medical personnel... allow to set... you have an average everyday morning.

Meanwhile I was busy watching the Sound of Music yesterday with my daughter.

I do that a lot. Try to fix in my head the time and date of some tragedy, and then imagine "while that was happening to someone else, I was doing xyz."

Have you ever seen the movie Dogville? It's by Lars von Trier and a running theme is the fact that everything happens to everyone at the same time and the only thing separating us is distance, and the phoney distance imposed by walls.

I can't place one of these posts above an other, but this post tempts me to do just that. Really excellent work here, on all levels. I too wish the best for this stranger under a bus even though for all I know she was on her way to do something or other I wouldn't like. My heart still has to go out to someone in pain, especially when they've been covered so thoughtfully and soulfully by the Heroinhead.

Take care S. Talk to you soon.

Memoirs of a Heroinhead said...

Hey ya Nick,

I never feel ghoulish for looking at such things... I think it's natural. I would feel more ghoulish rushing past and not giving a fuck... my head full of haste, personal worries and indifference. If we don't stop & take a look at death what will we stop and take a look at?

Anyway... let's just hope the girl pulled through, hey... and not just survived, but survived with no major probs to the legs, arm, head or spine. I've a feeling she may be fine.

Sun in my heart as always Nick... nothing can stop that because my heart is a translucent cloud... light can only pass through it... even if it'ssometimes dark light. Love returned, S. x

Memoirs of a Heroinhead said...

An average everyday morning... yeah, thats about it... for me anyway. What's breakfast without a slice or two of tragedy? Afer all, that's why we read the paper over coffee and eggs.


Dogville... one of those amazing pieces of art that can never be made again. There can only be one Dogville. It also shows us how many handle personal experience... they use it to carry out and justify retribution. I love Von Triers films for the questions, the decisions one must take and the consequences of those decisions. As much as I love Dogville, my favourite LVT film is Dancer in the Dark... there are scenes in that which express pure, deep and subconscious emotions... almost base emotions. There is one scene of the young buy riding his bike and we see the peddles as he sings "You just did what you had to do... you did did what you had to do.." His blind mother had just killed the policeman who had stole her money she was saving for n eye operation for her son. Only one scene in any film gives me more of an intuitive understanding of pain and sadness and that is the'Silencio' scene in David Lynch's Mulholland Drive... that scene bizarrely replicates on screen what we feel deep inside when watching it. I very rarely cry, and certainly not to film, but that scene, absolutely abstract and intuitive, brought me to tears along with the actors in the cinema... it's a remarkable 5 minutes of cinema... it is of the highest art.

Maybe the girl who was struck down was a young policewoman chasing my bus down to come and arrest me, who knows? If it was, I would have rather been arrested than have her finish like that. So even if she was on her way to carry out something we are against, we don't need 7 tonn buses to stop her... we can try and do that ourselves.

Because of the lack of news I think she's probably fine.

Take care H, and thanks again for your support of the West memphis Three. I'm going to put a permanent link to that post on my blog. If you don't mind, of course? Please.. pretty please? ;)

Changedit said...

I always feel that thinking about death (mostly my own) makes me feel truly alive. I am not afraid of it anymore, I will cherish it, when it comes, because I will have lived fully. K

Sarcastic Bastard said...

I love you, dear friend. I really do. This post really moved me. I think you understand things as they are.

You really are a Renaissance man and a hell of a writer. I am happy to know you.

Blessings (stay safe),

SB

Memoirs of a Heroinhead said...

Hiya again Fishwhiskers,

Excus me for not haing got aound to your blog yet... I will do.

I feel the ame about death and life, he only difference is I haven't an acceptance of death yet. Sometimes I pretend I do, but it's not really the truth. I'm halfway along that road.

Greatest thanks for popping by... and thats not a chuck away gesture, I mean it.

You take care & I'll do the same, Shane.

Memoirs of a Heroinhead said...

Hiya SB,

What am I gonna do with such compliments??? Tell me?? ;) You've just secured my happiness for another week!!

The loves returned and hopefully, one day, we'll be able to share some time together in person... wouldn't that be wonderful?

All my best (as ever) Shane. x

Anonymous said...

mm, I didn't read your blog entry this time. but tomorrow I'll. promise. I'm just here to reply your comment, I'm kinda in a hurry, sorry.
Misia, she was one of the Fado's new generation singers. I remember seeing her on the TV, but in the late 90's she disappeared. I don't know if she is still singing Fado, but, if she is, I'll go see her :) I said i didn't know because a few weeks ago I read a news saying that she was going to sing some nine inch nails stuff so... :/ I don't know. hehehe
But yeah, she is cool. she has a beautiful voice and she is quite unique, in terms of style. oh well...enjoy :)
kiss kiss
take care
stay strong
Vanessa Mota

Memoirs of a Heroinhead said...

Hiya V,

You read at your own leisure... that's the best & only way to enjoy reading.

Thanks for your info on Misia.. I think she's still singing Fado.

Take care of yourself, Shane. x

Lou said...

A touching job of telling the story of this tragedy. If she lived, she may never have full use of the limbs, especially the leg.

I run nearly every day in woods by my house. I see deer, wild turkey, foxes. I can't explain the freedom it gives me..except to say it is my heroin or Jack Daniels. I would rather die that not have my legs, not be able to move freely.

I will say a prayer for this girl. That she lived and that she may know the freedom of movement.

Memoirs of a Heroinhead said...

Hiya Lou & thanks as always for your input.

You've mirrored exactly what I said in a previous commnent, so lets just hope and wish for the best. I will try my hardest to find out what became of her, as i'd like to post an update on the blog.

Shane. x

Poetic Genesis said...

At least there I was amongst the caring.And that what makes you exceptional! I would have been right beside you probably saying prayers for her...

When things like this seem to happen before me, I always wonder what the true intent is. I know it may sound selfish a bit, but it's times like those that make me think I was in that particular moment for some reason. I usually take a longer walk with my children, speak with my mom more often or something of that magnitude, kwim?

We all know that tomorrow isn't promised, but do we ever really think that if there is a tomorrow, will we be the same person in it (physically, emotionally, mentally)? With death comes the end of life, but there are other changes that can happen at any moment that may not cease our existence, but can definitely alter it forever. Like this tragedy, the young lady will eternally be changed...and so will her family and friends.

And a couple of off topic comments...lol

LOVE, LOVE, LOVE the picture with the phone! Don't quite know how I feel about the bloody arm yet...probably depends on why the blood is there :)

Also, it's hard to ignore the little red lines that show your errors so I wouldn't say the freestyles are ALWAYS error free...lol

(((hugs)))

Genesis

Bar L. said...

I just love your writing....no matter what you write of, it captivates.

I think I understand why people turn to look at tragedy, how its almost a pull to see what's going on. I know it happens to me. I am curious I want to know. I also think, for me, its a reminder of reality.

A lot of times people don't like reality because its not always pretty and it often hurts. I write a blog about rape and child predators - not a very happy topic, but I do it for two reasons: 1) to make people wake up to the realty of the dangers lurking out there in their nice white ass neighborhood (where I live) and 2) to remind victims its not their fault. Just like it was not this girl's fault she was hit by the bus even if she was HIGH, even if she was CARELESS. She was at the wrong place at the wrong moment and suffered horrible consequences because of it.

Memoirs of a Heroinhead said...

Hiya Poetic Genesis,

i don't think it's at all selfish what you do in light of a tragedy. death and injuries make all of us reflect, and rmind us that we are not here forever. It's a good thing you do... you use that experience to share yourself with your loved ones (that's not selfish.. that's generous).

Also you're absolutely right what you say about how today can change our tomorrow. Death isn't necessarily the worst thing that can happen, sometimes survival but in an etremely painful or unwanted state is far worse. No, I don't think we consider such things enough... I certainly don't.

Now some off topics, lol

Thanks for your compliment on my photo... it turned out nice the one with the phone.

As for the arm it comes from a set of 35 photographs that I took and exhibited last year.
You're right to have mentioned it, as a little token of respect I've removed it. It has no place on this blog. I initially put it there because I had so many people question if I was really an addict and many others who knew it but denied it. It was just a bit of poor judgement on my behalf. ;)

Hugs returned, PG... & I hope all's well for you and the family.

My best thoughts and wishes, Shane. x

ALICE said...

hi
im not sure on blog curtesy but..
i love your writing
and thanks for following
alice

Memoirs of a Heroinhead said...

Hiya Barbara,

Thanks as ever for your comment and I hope things go well (mail me).

For me watching tradegy isn't shameful or twisted, it's normal & healthy. As long as you're not getting off on someone else's pain but trying to learn from it or understand it. When we see or hear tales of pain or hurt or rape or torture we are interested as we put ourselves in the position of the victim. It's almost as if we spend our lives preparing, just incase the worst arrives.

Take care, B & all my best, Shane. X

Memoirs of a Heroinhead said...

Alice,

Hiya & welcome & thank you for the follow and comment.

Blog courtesy... just don't threaten to kill me (or anyone else)... that's all. ;)

thanks once again & we'll speak more soon.

PS: You can threaten to kill racists and Anonymous cowards.

Kat Skratch said...

Kill the racists!

And the fucking anonymous cowards!

You're brilliant. Your writing captivates me. I love it. Please keep it up!

Wow. This is one of those days where lives collide huh? In a moment of tragic fate...

I'm glad you cared. I hope you're doing well Shane!

Kat xoxox

Changedit said...

Hey Shane, thanks for the kind words. My blog is worth jack shit compared to talented writers such as urself, and Anna and a few more people. My blog just serves the purpose of keeping me somewhat grounded ;) K x

Constance J. radicale said...

hey, after taking a quick view over your blog i can tell it's like reading some kind of a novel, that's what i like most about it- written life experiences are a bliss for me to read.
well actually, don't really take seriously that comment, i haven't yet read much of your posts, i promise though to read 'em soon. i was enthused about your being honest and true though :)
so, see you around soon
:)

Constance J. radicale said...

oh my, i've just noticed that alber camus is among the ones that 'push you on'! i love him, his life really thrills me...
have you read 'The stranger'? isn't it great? i'm currently reading 'the plague' :)
oh, wilde as well... i approve of your influences! ;D

Constance J. radicale said...

i really like your blog!
(sorry, if i seem stupid so far..! i'm just in a kind of better mood today xD )

Memoirs of a Heroinhead said...

hiya Kat Scratch (with a 'k'),

Thanks for your words & compliments... it's very kind.

I'm with you KILL the Fascists!!!

Yeah, one of those days when buses and life collide... what can we do but care???

When you see something like that it makes you realsie just how quickly and without warning disaster can strike.

I never dwell on such things though. We're alive so lets celebrate that.

Take care & BW, Shane. x

Memoirs of a Heroinhead said...

Fishwhiskers,

Your blogs worth more than Jack shit... it's worth some wonderful stoies (I bet!)

Thanks for your input... All my best Shane.

Memoirs of a Heroinhead said...

Constanze Jo,

You don't seem stupid... I hope not. If stupid people get off on my writing where does that leave it!!! ;)

Yes, I've reader The Stranger. A little theatre company I work with sometimes goes by that name (but in french - L'étranger Théâtre).


Take your time reading he old post.. they'll be here for the foreseeable future. You take cre and all my wishes, Shane. x

Steve (My Dog Ate Art) said...

thought-provoking as always - good post

Steve

STACY'S TRIP said...

I have found you and now I am here.

Memoirs of a Heroinhead said...

Hiya Steve,

It's a nice treat to have you over. Thanks for your comment & I hope all goes well in your life and with your art.

All my best, Shane.

Memoirs of a Heroinhead said...

Stacy,

I lost you, now you're there.

Thanks for the words... BW, Shane.

kellylebelly said...

'And if a double decker bus, crashes into us, to die by your side would be a heavenly way to die' There Is a Light That Never Goes Out , The Smiths.

Maybe not quite appropriate but I couldn't resist.

Another well written blog, I actually thought it was an excerpt from a book in the 1st paragraph!

I witnessed a really horrible accident in Jordan whilst visiting family. I was about to cross the road with my cousin when it happened. A little girl no more than eight years old had crossed before us and got hit by a car at full speed. I didn't see the collision. One half of girls head was glistening with blood and she determinedly tried to get up and walk. It was ages before an ambulance turned up (by Western standards).

I was hit by a car as well. All for the sake of not being 5 mins late for work!
I felt the bumper hit my knees and went flying across the tarmac. My back and side got skinned but apart from bruising nothing major, no broken bones. I couldn't get up at first, like my brain couldn't get the message to my legs to move. For a few seconds I was sure I was paralysed. I never got any morphine :-<
but they took my blood pressure and asked if I was an athlete (couldn't be further from the truth). I just naturally have very low blood pressure. Downside is I'm prone to blackouts if I get up too quick.

I do remember people crowding round and I must confess, I really hated that. I wanted them to go away, all they were doing was gawping and saying how terrible it was. Looking up and seeing all these strange faces peering down at me was too freaky and claustrophobic. So since then I don't hang about unless I can actually do something useful.

take care Shane

x Kelly

Memoirs of a Heroinhead said...

Hiya kelly,

You know I intended to set that Smiths song up on the playlist to coincide with the post... so it's strange you mention it. I just never got around to doing it... it wasn't that I thought it was in bad taste.

I always look at accidents... sometimes I wish I ddn't. A few years ago I insisted on hanging around near Putney Bridge as the police dredged up a body from the river. Well that bloated, slimy body gave me nightmares for weeks!!! Still, I didn't learn my lesson... i'm good at that! lol

My best thoughts and wishes, Shane. x

ryan field said...

Another good post. Hope she lived.

Anonymous said...

Shane, I found your blog only the other day and just read here and there. It was late in the night and I felt tired. But even in my half sleep I had to think about it, got up again and read it completely. So here I sit, the morning after, and just felt it was alright to let you know that it was truly wonderful. I hope I’m not sounding too harsh saying that: you feed into every pore that is hungry for the morbid and macabre. I think why reading your blog is so “satisfying” is because nothing is left out.
Until there it would be nothing but what yellow press does. BUT. The way you’re writing is so personal, and so beautiful, and it is so well written that it is far more than that. It enables empathy, you know. It gets so beyond voyeurism because your writing style enables empathy. Not pity, but empathy, I want to emphasize this. I hope I put the message across, I’m German, so English isn’t my first language.
Taking the abyss into poetry, that’s what you do. Thumbs up, Shane.
Greta

Syd said...

Shane, I hope that she lived and maybe the kind words of those who helped her gave her a will to live. I don't like to see accidents and can't even look at dead dogs on the side of the road. I'm glad that you had compassion.

Memoirs of a Heroinhead said...

Hiya Syd,

I know you've got compassion also.. I see that in each comment you leave on peoples blogs.

yes, lets hope she lived an that there was no damage to the spine, legs or head.

thanks as ever for your time and input. best wishes, Shane.

Memoirs of a Heroinhead said...

Hiya Greta,

I think you're the first German to comment on the blog, so I'm VERY proud of that. Thank you very much for all you say, and no, you're not being too harsh. I think you're right because the morbid and the macarbre has been my life and that is what inspires me.

I never go for pity... it's a horrible way to write and an even worse way to have relationships with people.

writing for me has to be poetical, because words alone cannot begin to describe my life and the way I see the world. There has to be rhythm and rhyme as well.

Anyway, I'm glad you enjoyed so much... because it was written for You.

Keep reading and commenting...

My very best thoughts & wishes, Shane.

PS: Your english is wonderful... I wouldn't have even known it wasn't your first language.

Bekka. said...

Something that you said blows my mind, and I've thought it too. I just got done reading it, and I already can't remember it.
But, like you said, you should be dead already. Yeah. It's people like us that should be gone.
I don't know anything about her, but she didn't deserve that, now I'm not saying you/we/people like us do either.
But I've sat back, my mum works in a hospital, and she tells me all the time about how these people are ill, who's dying, who is dead, and I'm cheating death with every injection.
This world's such an unhappy place. Such bad things happen to good people.

Rachel Caprice said...

Interesting as usual. Your long posts are usually the best. lol. There's always so much detail and description. I like that. It's funny you talked about trying to prepare for unpreparable things because I do that constantly. Driving to work on Monday I wondered what I'd do if my son or father died. For no reason at all. You can never prepare for death but I always try.

Sarcastic Bastard said...

Hiya, Shane. Just stopping by to say hello. I hope your week is going well.

I am eagerly awaiting another post. No pressure. Ha!

Love,

SB

ALICE said...

hello,
nice to clear that up then ;)
looking at some of your art work,
reminds me of late francis bacon, in a good way.
alice

Jane said...

Don't you ever stop writing. I swear this was written amazingly.

Jane

Memoirs of a Heroinhead said...

Hiya Bekka,

Thanks for reading and for your comment.

I didn'tmean "should be dead" as we deserve to die, but "should be dead" due to the poisons, the life and the extra risks we take. It was just to reinforce the point that you can live a life of 5 portions of vegetables a day, tee-total and be a non-smoker, yet whilst out jogging a plant pot may fall and hit you from a window ledge... killing you dead. We can't predict this life so we must live it as we feel best.

Once again thanks for our words... hope you"re well BW, Shane.

Memoirs of a Heroinhead said...

Hiya Rachel,

Thanks as ever for your visit. I knew you'd like the longer one's!!! I can't win, LOL! :(
Here's an ingenius solution. Before you start reading scroll the page and see how lon the post is. If it's too short just read slower. ;)

I think we all TRY to prepâre for the unprepareable & I do the same as you... God, in my mind my mother and wife have come to some horrendous ends!! But no matter how we play it out, when something does happen for real... it just knocks you down. It's the force of the emotions, not the force of the blow.

Hope you & familly are well... I'll be across to your blog soon. Thoughts & Wishes, Shane.

Memoirs of a Heroinhead said...

SB,

Hiya... the waits hell, hey? lol

There'll be a post tomorrow. Been trying to juggle blogging and painting this last week, as I've neglected thge latter recently. I can't afford to do that too much as for the moment it pays my rent.

All's well here... hope it's the same your end.

Love, Love & Love, Shane.

Memoirs of a Heroinhead said...

Hiya Alice,

Yes , some of my earlier paintings are much like Bacons. They were important, as to find your own style you have to explore others. My latest paintings use much more spray paints and have their own identity. It's a great thing when you stand back and realise you've created something that could only have come from YOU. I will update the site soon.

My best wishes, Shane.

Memoirs of a Heroinhead said...

Chelsea Jane,

No, I won't stop writing... unless I'm hit by a bus, of course. I hope not!! ;)

Thanks for your compliment... it's very touching.

Hope you're well CJ,

Best Wishes, Shane.

Nikita said...

Your comment about those who choose to curse the injured who disrupt transport... I am with you. A businessman and I once had a very public altercation on the London tube over a young man who jumped...sure I was escorted off the train - but the businessman certainly had to think twice.
And it was because of the man who jumped that as of September I'll be a student MH nurse... because there's no such thing as too far gone.
With love

Memoirs of a Heroinhead said...

Hiya Nikita,

Welcome to the blog & thank you so much for your comment.

Yes, sometimes humans can be so uncaring and selfish... it's really sad to see or hear.

It's fantastic that you will become a nurse. I know it isn't greatly rewarded financially and that the hours are long and hard, but it is one, of only a few, truly respectable professions.

I absolutely agree... No such thing as TOO far gone.

My very best thoughts & wishes, Shane. x

Kat Skratch said...

NEW BLOG PLEASE SHANE!
:)

Love you
:*