tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9193316819499446317.post2532335404489615963..comments2024-01-29T03:08:22.174+01:00Comments on - Memoires of a Heroinhead -: And The Rain Came DownMemoirs of a Heroinheadhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17401281805284793756noreply@blogger.comBlogger101125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9193316819499446317.post-17864265058470903402015-11-17T19:49:46.796+01:002015-11-17T19:49:46.796+01:00Free in the soul. For a good moment of my life I h...Free in the soul. For a good moment of my life I had lost all concern of death. Freedom of the soul is nothing more than that - being released from the all occupying constraints of self-preservation and survival. It's a state of mind, My Darling. I can lead you towards beautiful hells and maybe together we'll stand a chance? Alone I've no chance...alone there's no last dance to be had. XxX Shane Levenehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03863320007737754609noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9193316819499446317.post-23823749260112320162015-11-17T01:53:43.791+01:002015-11-17T01:53:43.791+01:00Veils lift and you see life and yourself , how you...Veils lift and you see life and yourself , how you were before they got to you and turned you into plastic shells of human beings. In your writing i feel what it was to be free in the soul and i yearn for it. And i know that i gotta go back there. <br /><br />Will you take me there ? Last dance of the night....<br /><br />-Tatiana <br />Tatiananoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9193316819499446317.post-84083255313590936272011-03-08T04:56:49.657+01:002011-03-08T04:56:49.657+01:00You are an INCREDIBLE writer and have a blazingly ...You are an INCREDIBLE writer and have a blazingly beautiful soul. You are highly talented and I feel blessed to have found your blog.<br /><br />You're amazing and I can't wait to visit again.<br /><br />Thank you for taking the time to write such evocative chunks of your reality.Chunks of Realityhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05550378591715392039noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9193316819499446317.post-26831589198573230982011-01-16T22:20:17.727+01:002011-01-16T22:20:17.727+01:00Hiya DJ...
Thanks for your words they're very...Hiya DJ...<br /><br />Thanks for your words they're very kind.<br /><br />Was it heroin you scored in China? You'll probably need to be bloody careful doing that there... especially for just weekend use. if i was you I'd send my wife to get it! haha..; Yeah, you see... I'm so good hearted!<br /><br />No, seriously... for what it's worth I'm not sure it's worth it... I know it's not. But people say the same to me... and my words have probably already turned into blah blah blah sheep...<br /><br />Take care.. be careful... and hope to see you around here again.<br /><br />Shane. XMemoirs of a Heroinheadhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17401281805284793756noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9193316819499446317.post-86250938248557412432011-01-16T17:41:10.155+01:002011-01-16T17:41:10.155+01:00Hiya Shane,
Just recently found your blog and rea...Hiya Shane,<br /><br />Just recently found your blog and really enjoy reading your writing. It seems you have a talent for it and I hope you can find a way to turn it into an income generator - after reading your posts I can tell you are a genuine good hearted person who deserves to at least be comfortable in whatever lifestyle you choose to live.<br />I am currently living in a part of China and recently 'discovered' (read: searched for intently) the local drug dealing area. Luckily my wife keeps an eye on our finances so I will only ever be a weekend warrior at best while here, as I have been an addict before (crystal meth) and will not go down that road again if I can help it (and I can).<br />Best wishes and good luck for the future.<br /><br />DJDJnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9193316819499446317.post-23826177067799317752011-01-08T02:56:29.420+01:002011-01-08T02:56:29.420+01:00Hiya Corte Inglesa,
Thank you for what you say......Hiya Corte Inglesa,<br /><br />Thank you for what you say... it means a lot. <br /><br />Did I compare addiction to having a child? Don't remember that, but as I've compared it to most things I'll believe ya. I think once I compared it to tramp with three legs... or maybe that was someone else???<br /><br />I'll be writing more soon... just for you...<br /><br />thanks for visiting and the time reading and commenting, love and thoughts Shane. XXXMemoirs of a Heroinheadhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17401281805284793756noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9193316819499446317.post-21988510068234325472011-01-08T02:29:59.892+01:002011-01-08T02:29:59.892+01:00Jon B,
Hope you're keeping well... I think yo...Jon B,<br /><br />Hope you're keeping well... I think you sent me a mail but i know so many fucking John's that I could dress them up and start The Sex Pistols again. But it may have been you and if not, well, I've fucked up again.. nothing serious though. <br /><br />All My Thoughts Shane.Memoirs of a Heroinheadhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17401281805284793756noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9193316819499446317.post-81229493541613054552011-01-07T19:04:49.629+01:002011-01-07T19:04:49.629+01:00Hi Shane, I'm so glad I found your blog. You a...Hi Shane, I'm so glad I found your blog. You are a cracking writer. I really look forward to reading more.<br /><br />Addiction is such a powerful and strange thing - the way you compare it to having a child is just spot on. One of the most important people in my life has had big struggles with weed, but compared to what you have to go through, it seems like nothing.<br /><br />Another has problems with weed, crack, and coke, and though I've tried my best to be there for her, I know she has some really dark days and I can't always help.<br /><br />Anyway, just wanted to tell you how glad I am that I stopped by. I'll be back - just like Arnie one said.SeƱora Bhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00555117068001661536noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9193316819499446317.post-61453584145795030112011-01-04T13:01:36.495+01:002011-01-04T13:01:36.495+01:00Chrissy,
Excuse me for the belated reply!!! But h...Chrissy,<br /><br />Excuse me for the belated reply!!! But happy New Year, although it didn't seem to be full of much joy... well not on the methadone front.<br /><br />I should imagine if you felt that thefirst day it's psychological. I've found you can half your methadone script for almost two days and you won't feel it as your body feeds of the excess. The third day, just as you think everything is OK, is when you start feeling it. But thats just me and everybosy is different and processes this medication differently.<br /><br />I'm well thank you....<br /><br />All my Love Shane. XXX<br /><br /><br />Wishing you a Happy New Year Shane!!Been going thru hell here lately,I was on a high dose of methadone(195mg)while pregnant with my babies and am down to 125mg now(My choice,I think I went to fast)First time in 6 yrs and I actually feel like absolute crap in the a.m.It may be psychological,but it certainly feels like detoxing.... (Or I swear the nurse in the clinic is shorting my dose(just a certain one-I am not one prone to paranoia.lol)All that aside,I hope you are well Shane!!Take care!!Hugs!<br />Chrissy in the USAMemoirs of a Heroinheadhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17401281805284793756noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9193316819499446317.post-35274985501640877832011-01-01T01:39:22.535+01:002011-01-01T01:39:22.535+01:00Wishing you a Happy New Year Shane!!Been going thr...Wishing you a Happy New Year Shane!!Been going thru hell here lately,I was on a high dose of methadone(195mg)while pregnant with my babies and am down to 125mg now(My choice,I think I went to fast)First time in 6 yrs and I actually feel like absolute crap in the a.m.It may be psychological,but it certainly feels like detoxing.... (Or I swear the nurse in the clinic is shorting my dose(just a certain one-I am not one prone to paranoia.lol)All that aside,I hope you are well Shane!!Take care!!Hugs!<br />Chrissy in the USAAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9193316819499446317.post-71438007703476776662010-12-31T12:56:37.414+01:002010-12-31T12:56:37.414+01:00Hi again Shane,
Thanks for responding.
"Hop...Hi again Shane,<br />Thanks for responding. <br /><br />"Hopefully in the future the writings here will take on more importance and be left as a tribute to what was happening in these times and how we lived." <br /><br />- This is exactly how I meant it - I think you can rest assured that they will/do. "<br /><br />"Am I giving any kind of an insight into my time?" <br /><br />- Absolutely - you, certainly are!<br />Keep it up mate - you have a rare gift! <br /><br />Anyway, all the best for the New Year - hope you have a good 'un! <br /><br />Keep safe, <br /><br />Jon BJon Bnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9193316819499446317.post-91705053498875518382010-12-29T16:45:37.035+01:002010-12-29T16:45:37.035+01:00Hey ya Sid! Great to have you here and thank you f...Hey ya Sid! Great to have you here and thank you for what you say. the writing's just luck... a lucky life and lucky eyes. Not for everyone, but for me it feels like that. Though just to confuse matters: I don't believe in luck.<br /><br />All My Best, Shane. XMemoirs of a Heroinheadhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17401281805284793756noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9193316819499446317.post-27522539918832190442010-12-29T16:35:18.047+01:002010-12-29T16:35:18.047+01:00Hiya Mr Orange,
Thanks for coming reading and tak...Hiya Mr Orange,<br /><br />Thanks for coming reading and taking the time to comment... that means a lot. <br /><br />I can understand how you can miss that life, but really its much more exciting in retrospect, because in reality the excitement is a nightmare, especially with an egg timer to sickness counting down on you.<br /><br />I don't advocate sobriety, but neither do I advovate drug use. You must live your life however best suits you and its circumstances. But if you can ejoy life drug free it's better than enjoying it under an addiction. It's the same just without the hassle and all the trappings.<br /><br />I also think it's quite normal to become 'Chris' after a period of addiction. That life is so hectic that when its over you do the opposite for a while and exchange the mayhem for predictability. I done the same when I quit on coming to France. I bacame tidal in my consistency. But I needed to learn french... I couldn't score without doing thatn so I had huge motivating factors. <br /><br />Anyway, straight, clean, bent or dirty, I wish you well and only hope whatever road you head down is a happy one.<br /><br />All My Thoughts, Shane.Memoirs of a Heroinheadhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17401281805284793756noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9193316819499446317.post-77274334382365774612010-12-29T15:50:05.364+01:002010-12-29T15:50:05.364+01:00Haha! All so familiar!
So well written too, im en...Haha! All so familiar!<br /><br />So well written too, im envious of your writing style. <br />Im just beginning my blogging, thanks for the comment<br /><br />SSidhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10708564994172183411noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9193316819499446317.post-43649566557294282272010-12-29T15:30:35.765+01:002010-12-29T15:30:35.765+01:00Shane,
Reading things like this make me miss the...Shane, <br /><br />Reading things like this make me miss the life i led for so long in ways that only a junkie can understand. I've been off it for a little while now, since march, but ive been free since the end of september... at first i felt that the lack of dope in my life was liberating... and often times anymore i feel that it just doesnt fit with my personality... i feel that this isnt the life for me... i recently read your post about "chris" and i related in ways that "normal" people seldom understand... and i feel like chris alot of times... <br /><br />that being said, i have things to do, responsibilities and such... it would be unfair to the people in my life for me to do the things i once did, so i get a vicarious thrill from your writing... and sometimes i dream about returning to the life that i know... the one that i understand... the one that has the highest of highs, and the lowest of lows... the one that feels like home...<br /><br />thank you<br />Mr. OrangeMr. Orangehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04192757625706017775noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9193316819499446317.post-47437028882422882102010-12-28T03:55:04.674+01:002010-12-28T03:55:04.674+01:00Joe M... Oh, that does make a good Christmas gay !...Joe M... Oh, that does make a good Christmas gay !!! <br /><br />Sorry for the appalling joke... but you asked for it! XMemoirs of a Heroinheadhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17401281805284793756noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9193316819499446317.post-58042089520747384462010-12-28T03:52:41.663+01:002010-12-28T03:52:41.663+01:00Jon B,
Thank you for all you say, its very kind! ...Jon B,<br /><br />Thank you for all you say, its very kind! <br /><br />yeah, there'ss really a whole hidden world. i'll never see a man just loitering about on a street the same again. It's like one of these magical puzzles that you stare at and suddenly an image appears... suddenly you can see through all the mess and there are junkies hanging around everywhere you go. I often used to think how astonished residents would be if they knew what was going on in their street. <br /><br />I have never made any affict friends.. not one. There were a few I spoke to and didn't mind, and there were many who considered me a friend, but from my side I never felt any friendship. We were speaking just for a very specific purpose. i've met affict friends on the internet though. i think it helps that we have no drug scams between us. That always ends in tears. But I did find a community. It was nice mentally to know that was there and tehre was a kind of support in it, but physically I didn't make it up, and still don't.<br /><br />I think you was lucky not to have descended into that. Most who do, do not escape alive. And if they do, it's usually with a death sentence anyway.<br /><br />I don't think many would want to go back. Even me, I still use but could do without all of that. Because I write it serves me well, and so I take that positive from it and use it as an ace rather than a low card.<br /><br /><br />Hopefully in the future the writings here will take on more importance and be left as a tribute to what was happening in these times and how we lived. Not just addicts, because the blog speaks a lot of general life around that. But it is something I keep in mind: Is it historically relevent?Does it need to be written? Am I giving any kind of an insight into my time?<br /><br />I also love London and want in a way to give my reprensentation of what it was in my lifetime. Not because I think I am a power to do that, but just because it is a passion of mine. The city made and killed me and then made me again... it's just a huge metroplis of inspiration to me.<br /><br />Ok, take care Jon, and if you want another read about this scene you can buy our friend Tony O'neill's book 'Down & Out on Murder Mile', which I assure you: You'll love. <br /><br />All My best, Shane. XMemoirs of a Heroinheadhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17401281805284793756noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9193316819499446317.post-40837549213128466992010-12-27T20:46:26.558+01:002010-12-27T20:46:26.558+01:00Seasons greetings Shane! You don't know me but...Seasons greetings Shane! You don't know me but, having spent the last few days reading your posts, I certainly feel that I know you. I wanted to thank you for sharing!<br />You have a real way with words. Utterly compelling.<br /><br />I was in a similar situation to you - I used for about 10 years when I lived in North London - had many adventures scoring around Kings X - (gawd it used to be like the Wild West there for a while - but then London is a wild town) And met many different people - Some of the nicest & some of the worst - I could really relate to one of your earlier posts describing the process whereby <br />you become increasingly aware of the amount of people who use (in London anyway) - so in the end you almost assume everyone does - there really is a whole hidden <br />community & that's one of the things that "using" gave me ...<br />at a time when I was very lonely it gave me a whole "community" of similar "lost souls" - I don't think one should underestimate that. It was us against the world!<br />Though at the same time of course, ultimately it was everyman for himself<br />Like you, I never felt 100% a member of the lost junkie underground - I was lucky! I wouldn't want to go back to that but wouldn't have missed it either<br /><br />Your writing will become ever more valuable as the years pass - of that I am sure<br /><br />Hope all is well with you & i wish you all the best for the future<br /><br />Jon Bnobody specialhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17705566295712870939noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9193316819499446317.post-25130245425379971232010-12-24T16:49:58.429+01:002010-12-24T16:49:58.429+01:00Make the Yuletyde Gay<a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5g4lY8Y3eoo" rel="nofollow">Make the Yuletyde Gay</a>joemillsxxxx@yahoo.co.uknoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9193316819499446317.post-62263119188312880642010-12-14T02:56:21.346+01:002010-12-14T02:56:21.346+01:00Bufarinaaa, I've surely spelled your name wron...Bufarinaaa, I've surely spelled your name wrong, but that's OK, I get mine wrong all the time too. Welcome to this place... always great to have some new faces around. Love and Thoughts, Shane. XMemoirs of a Heroinheadhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17401281805284793756noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9193316819499446317.post-15620344031606337442010-12-14T02:54:20.898+01:002010-12-14T02:54:20.898+01:00Hiya Luis,
Well you're from there, so it must...Hiya Luis,<br /><br />Well you're from there, so it must even ring more true to you. We surely have a few dealers in common... and maybe a few debts!<br /><br />I sent you a mail so evrything else is covered in that. XMemoirs of a Heroinheadhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17401281805284793756noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9193316819499446317.post-74027830443308797352010-12-13T20:49:24.275+01:002010-12-13T20:49:24.275+01:00wow! so, i recently discovered your work, and i ha...wow! so, i recently discovered your work, and i have read some of the posts. <br /><br />i am really fascinated. your style of writing is very captivating. the way you tell a story, it just makes me want to read more and more. i also admire the fact that you're telling us, some strangers, about your life, what you're thinking, just the way it is.<br /><br />you're really talented. so, keep up with the good work. <br /><br />huugs, Ioana.ioanahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10703427172115852954noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9193316819499446317.post-35882101848685114782010-12-09T17:40:12.078+01:002010-12-09T17:40:12.078+01:00Wow Shane, that post really was the total truth! I...Wow Shane, that post really was the total truth! I remember terrible days during droughts - My wife Pauline phoning dealer after dealer, me pacing up and down, hoping against hope they'd answer the phone and have something, and our flatmate Steph (who was and remains totally straight) sitting in her room with the door closed, terrified to come out for fear (in your words) "there'd be a riot". Talking to us recently about those days, she said she could literally feel "waves of panic sweeping through the flat"...Luis Draytonhttp://www.prettysick.co.uknoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9193316819499446317.post-32011902750068937342010-12-09T04:30:53.620+01:002010-12-09T04:30:53.620+01:00Shane I know I am meant to get in touch with you. ...Shane I know I am meant to get in touch with you. I cannot remember whether or not I did.<br />Everything's gone tits up. Now I have to see a dr tomorrow. I am dreading it like no drs appointment I can ever recall. This is a nutnut dr.<br />O I have gotta go. I am telling you this as I recall reading an email or the top of one in a really distracted state (and bear in mind, between that vital click and anything else, the computer could have shut down power on me or anything. If you want to read what happened it's ALL there, last few days, but don't underestimate the sheer chaos of it all. That's what I am coming to explain/apologize for. I do want to get back to you. Feel ill.<br /><br />OK I'd better go everything I say seems confused or confusing the longer it goes on!!!<br /><br />Take it easy ;->Gledwoodhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09308172310486574510noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9193316819499446317.post-55716978611550920812010-12-08T02:55:31.806+01:002010-12-08T02:55:31.806+01:00LOL I hear ya on the staying healthy!!Ive been cra...LOL I hear ya on the staying healthy!!Ive been crazy busy with the holiday and having 2 lil ones in my later years keeps me going 24-7...Frankly,I detest this time of year,too commercialized and overrated!!I hope ur well. Looking forrward to your next installment here!! Cheerio(Thats my English accent..lol) Chrissy xxAnonymousnoreply@blogger.com