tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9193316819499446317.post4000048706281584569..comments2024-01-29T03:08:22.174+01:00Comments on - Memoires of a Heroinhead -: Romanticism & French SmackMemoirs of a Heroinheadhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17401281805284793756noreply@blogger.comBlogger31125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9193316819499446317.post-56344473773337961862013-11-14T04:12:09.522+01:002013-11-14T04:12:09.522+01:00Ahhhh ! Such comfort I get from ur words...to know...Ahhhh ! Such comfort I get from ur words...to know that I am not alone in this heroin hell/heaven. Thank you so much for ur wonderful view on life, art, love, hate, family, addiction. You are truly amazing.Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09740467522098700280noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9193316819499446317.post-58137549941369874212011-09-17T17:46:56.374+02:002011-09-17T17:46:56.374+02:00Hi, Shane,
thanks for your reply to my comment and...Hi, Shane,<br />thanks for your reply to my comment and... just let me to take a voice one more time again. <br /><br />I'm really glad to meet someone so fully aware/selfconsciuos, who "follows the ways of addiction" with such a passion. Looks your private "searchings" reach pretty deep: as deep as deep addiction concerns/angage whole aspects of human beeing. Feels, you doesn't find satisfaction in easy/simply answers and I like it. It occurs pretty rarely, believe me. <br /><br />I'm also glad, that you understand me in matter of so called "junkies'image/entourage"-it makes me sure I'm not just a single freak getting herself into such an "abstractive rubbish", as already many people suggests... <br />The question of "junkies' design"/lifestyle, no matter it's intentional or just a side effect is for me still very vital, because, as you already pointed very accurate, it's something what "reaches" beyond/out our biological status; it is A TALE: at that something, what makes us, human being defined as humans.<br /> <br />The TALES (for this moment: let's forget/despite the dope as itself with it's unique result) were so attracting, so they led me to my addiction. By the other hand, when I already got "involved", they probably were really helpfull to survive/go through the worst: the TALE I was telling to myself day after day in my deepest depht made me able to CONVERT the Destruction into Creativity... I think, it saved my life frequently...Every fucking negative finds its epical(?) opposite and ballance in a TALE. Things doesn't hurt so much, if you CALL it by the name you choose for them---it makes the STORY completely change, doesn't it?... <br />...Pain is not pain anymore; it goes into Experience; the Battlefield becomes Playground...<br />It's like dressing up an old ugly mistress... Just a cheap trick, but it works anyway. <br /><br />Sorry for take your worthfull time again.<br />By the way, may I ask you, are there many polish users/junkies where you live?<br /><br />Best regards to you,<br />your truly<br />Jowita <br />jowita70@interia.plJovitanoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9193316819499446317.post-79488346235718885852011-09-16T23:52:28.970+02:002011-09-16T23:52:28.970+02:00Hi Jovita. Thanks for taking the time to comment.
...Hi Jovita. Thanks for taking the time to comment.<br /><br />No, I wont say: <i>"please, show me the place I told heroin/opiates has something to do with romanticism!!!, etc"</i> because I know Heroin Romanticism exists, and it has a little to do with the reason most addicts use in the first place. What I will say is that I never try to make 'heroin addiction' romantic, but I'm fully aware that my words will make it romantic to those who want to see it in that way. I can't help that. IU can't help what people take from the writing. But 'heroin romanticism' as an abstract thing certainly does exist and many writers go all out on that to somehow write their own tragedy, but to imbue it with sex and attraction along the way so as the "self-destruction" is a romantic and beautiful one. But for me, no self-destruction is 'beautiful'. I've lived around self-destruction and it's an ugly, hideous thing. <br /><br />You may be polish, but I think you're mistaken to think that 'heroin romanticism' doesn't exist in your country. I know polish addicts and they are just as wrapped up in the 'image' of the junkie as anyone else in the world. They have seen films and pictures and listened to music that shows us what 'junk' is.. they know full well that image and many are still searching that in their own addiction. But let's forget about 'heroin romanticism' because it's more 'junkie romanticism'... and idea of what a junkie is, looks like, walks and talks like. That exists in Poland though maybe not as much as in the West. But that's only because the West is even more superficial and fake thanks to all the choices we have from socks to fancy needles! Capitalism and what it pushes our way has a responsibility in it all.<br /><br />But although heroin addiction often has something to do with image, or expressing an image, there's something more going on than just that. If not we'd all just dress and walk it but not actually do it. So Romanticism can lead us to play around with certain ideas but it's never the cause of a dependency.. that's something else. Internal problems and a way to deal with them.<br /><br />Some people get angry and punch walls; other get angry and punch themselves. Heroin addiction is a common state for those who like to hit themselves. In a way it's a kind of masculine version of bulimia.... the two have many common points.<br /><br />Addiction itself is easy to answer: it's a matter of biology. The hard question is 'why does someone become an addict?' For that there is no single answer, and ANY answer is complex and the result of a thousand different chance things. We can maybe in our lifetime answer our own case, but even that is doubtful, even if we're extremely open and honest. But instead of answers we can give insight, and often that's better than the answer as it doesn't try to solve anything. Because really, what's the point of knowing the answer if it doesn't stop the question? And knowing the answer to addiction is a pretty useless thing when even in possession of that knowledge we're still shooting dope. So personally I only ever try to give some insight into the life and what surrounds it. If it's sometimes romantic I will say so, and if it's vulgar and disgusting I will tell that too. It's all we can do, because the real truth of addiction has very rarely been told... and the biggest mythmakers of all are the addicts.<br /><br />Take care Jovita and write whenever you like.<br /><br />Moje najlepsze życzenia, Shane. XMemoirs of a Heroinheadhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17401281805284793756noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9193316819499446317.post-1894275656414359582011-09-16T16:24:05.019+02:002011-09-16T16:24:05.019+02:00Shane, my dear unknown Friend,
(please indulge me ...Shane, my dear unknown Friend,<br />(please indulge me I dare to call you this way, and forgive me my poor, disabled language as well-I wish English were my native, so I could express myself as well, as I usually do in my first language).<br /><br />Calling you Friend it's not just an act of pathetical/overdone/too-made behaviour, completely meaningless. <br /><br />What I want to tell you, concerns not that part of your "Memoires..." in particular, but your work in general.<br /><br />I'm coming from Poland, where the idea of "heroin' romanticism" doesn't exist; even for users it's something completely strange.<br /><br />Wait, wait, I know, what you're going to say:<br />"please, show me the place I told heroin/opiates has something to do with romanticism!!! It's for me as trivial, as opening the next bottle of bear for an average guy ending his daily grind(?)/work..."<br /> <br />However, even if it isn't intentional, you are pretty succeded to get some absolutely unique result(maybe it's just a side effect): <br />"Ridin'" THAT KINDA subject(so to say, hope you get what I mean)is really hard to avoid portraying yourself as a "poete maudit", what always touch me...<br />Maybe "creativity"(instead of the "romanticism")is at that the most proper word I'm looking for...?<br /><br />Because of my language inability I can't get exactly what you write, especially the way you express yourself is pretty sophisticated, however, even if I miss the single words sometimes, I'm sure I can get the "feeling"/meaning very well, because "I'm ridin' the same H": <br />H for Heroin; for a Horse and H for the History(I mean Tales).<br /><br />It's already long years I'm still tryin'to find proper words for the one of the most wordless/unspeachable/speachless phenomenon of this world:opiate addiction.<br />It's not a good time for artists/writers hanging on the needles and inspired by the high-and low tieds...(lol,keep in mind: English ISN'T my native;)) <br />I've written a novel; the dope-pulp fiction called THRILLS, my friend(top publisher of the only one polish HR-magazine, I regular co-work with)called it:"fucking kickassed", but that was all. We sent it to whole possible publishings and they reply something like:"The old time Hells gets already used up. Nowadays we can add loads of new cyrcles of Hell to the previous ones-the drug-hell is just passe. Besides, your novel collapses under it's own weight-give us new "Trainspotting", or modern day "We, Children...", so maybe we'll talk with you."(yes, it's not coquetery)...<br /><br />No matter, I'm just jealous you, guys in the West have some space for yourself and your creativity, what we, here in Poland still looking for in vain.<br /><br />I'm gratefull for your work and thanks for inspire me start writtin' blog.<br /> <br />All the best to you, Brother<br />Your Friend, <br />JowitaJovitanoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9193316819499446317.post-23857563007052619902011-09-09T15:58:13.164+02:002011-09-09T15:58:13.164+02:00Shane, your description of the people in the St St...Shane, your description of the people in the St Stephens squat was so funny that I laughed so convulsively I coughed up some of the deepest smoke-related phlegm in my knackered lungs, and now I can breathe better than I have for weeks. Thanks for that.The Total Impostorhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00683193981145988402noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9193316819499446317.post-90405408426098123402010-11-30T20:42:31.305+01:002010-11-30T20:42:31.305+01:00There is something beautiful here that brings Melm...There is something beautiful here that brings Melmoth the Wanderer and Mishima Yukio to mind. <br /><br />You know how to write and you seem to know how to live. I like that.<br /><br />I won't waste time whining about how "drugs are bad". Every man chooses his poison and junk is a more elegant choice than others.<br /><br />I like these things you write. I will continue to read them with relish.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9193316819499446317.post-45325399043857560002010-10-20T09:29:34.687+02:002010-10-20T09:29:34.687+02:00Shane, I've just arrived here after reading al...Shane, I've just arrived here after reading all of your posts in a day of ignoring the rest of the world. What a strong voice you have. I appreciate so much your honesty and compassion, not only for others but for yourself. I appreciate the chance to see the world in a way that I didn't yesterday. I wish for you all that you wish for yourself. <br />sending you heartfelt love,<br />Maryjaneemissjayisshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05977553922296800098noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9193316819499446317.post-35395908859514476532010-02-27T18:17:07.431+01:002010-02-27T18:17:07.431+01:00Happy Birthday, blog! A year (and a day)! Congratu...Happy Birthday, blog! A year (and a day)! Congratulations. This be my birthday <a href="http://www.ultimate-guitar.com/tabs/m/misc/mighty_boosh_-_i_did_a_shit_on_your_mum_tab.htm" rel="nofollow">present</a>! XTerminal MarGretnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9193316819499446317.post-28969696339482695652009-05-17T21:37:00.000+02:002009-05-17T21:37:00.000+02:00Nature is a whore, sell the kids for food. All pla...Nature is a whore, sell the kids for food. All plagiarized. My new favorite word is plagiarized. I know this an old post, one I have just read. Which is odd, because I get your blogs electronically mailed to me. I felt the need to write electronically. <br />While reading your blog I was listening to the tindersticks, but now that I'm commenting I can't here the music, but I can here a faint sound of squeaks, and cries, and laughter, and talking....its strange. I might just sit here and listen to it all day. <br /><br />I'm sorry that someone commented to me on your other blog. That was strange too.<br /><br />I want to move to France, since the laws on rehabilitation are so lax. I need lax rehab laws. Too bad I have a warrant for my arrest, and I don't speak a lick of French, or I'd go to France, instead of Washington State here in the US of A.<br /><br />I send you all my kisses, and death threats.<br />Anna Grace<br />XXXAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9193316819499446317.post-89043907140418193842009-03-24T21:32:00.000+01:002009-03-24T21:32:00.000+01:00Sara,I do reread the posts, but I do not become sa...Sara,<BR/><BR/>I do reread the posts, but I do not become sad, no. I wasn't sad writing them in the first place. Of course some memories will be more emotional than others... but thats the same with everyone.<BR/><BR/>I've lived with these things for nearly 30 years... it's old news to me. ;)<BR/><BR/>I hope you stay with us & keep commentating... & above all, enjoy it... there's no guilt to be had there.<BR/><BR/>Take care & All the best, Shane.Memoirs of a Heroinheadhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17401281805284793756noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9193316819499446317.post-27428967856845279082009-03-24T19:24:00.000+01:002009-03-24T19:24:00.000+01:00Hello again!That is a very good point :)That makes...Hello again!<BR/>That is a very good point <BR/>:)<BR/>That makes me feel a bit better!<BR/>Do you ever go back and read the things you've written, and get sad too?Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9193316819499446317.post-58657528168932887172009-03-24T18:11:00.000+01:002009-03-24T18:11:00.000+01:00Sara,Another wonderful compliment... you guys are...Sara,<BR/><BR/>Another wonderful compliment... you guys are really trying to embarrass me! ;)<BR/><BR/>Don't be too sad reading it... at least i'm together enough to write it. Think of it in that way.<BR/><BR/>Take care, Sara<BR/><BR/>ShaneMemoirs of a Heroinheadhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17401281805284793756noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9193316819499446317.post-26325694584993817692009-03-24T15:47:00.000+01:002009-03-24T15:47:00.000+01:00Hi Shane!You do write very beautifully. I've never...Hi Shane!<BR/>You do write very beautifully. I've never tried heroin myself, but I've had my share of experimenting with other drugs. I've always wondered what the actual high was like; I'm way too scared to try it. <BR/>Your blog makes me so sad, some of the things you write, but at the same time you write it in such a fascinating and beautiful way. I wish I could be so brutally honest, and express things in my writings that way. <BR/>I agree with Eve; it is like a book I can't put down.<BR/>Hope things are well,<BR/>SaraAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9193316819499446317.post-674595446455947982009-03-24T00:50:00.000+01:002009-03-24T00:50:00.000+01:00Shane! I hate it when I mis-type my name... I call...Shane! I hate it when I mis-type my name... I call them "Keyboard casualties". ;)Memoirs of a Heroinheadhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17401281805284793756noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9193316819499446317.post-8224951397497187992009-03-24T00:48:00.000+01:002009-03-24T00:48:00.000+01:00HH Harriotte, Of course you can follow!! You can n...HH Harriotte, <BR/><BR/>Of course you can follow!! You can never be naive when your young.... only old people can be naive (it takes time!)<BR/><BR/>Of course nothing you say offends me... it's a pleasure to have you write. Anything you want to ask, I'm always open. It's a fgood thing you don't know anything about heroin... now you can learn without having to do it yourself. 95% of the readers are the same as you.<BR/><BR/>Take care HH & we'll speak more soon.<BR/><BR/>BW, Shnae. xMemoirs of a Heroinheadhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17401281805284793756noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9193316819499446317.post-45094001477014208892009-03-23T22:23:00.000+01:002009-03-23T22:23:00.000+01:00i didn't mean i was jealous of your life,sorry tha...i didn't mean i was jealous of your life,sorry that sounded so bad<BR/>i just meant of your life in france, and your art and your look on life<BR/>sorry i didn't mean to offend or anything :)Harriotte ...& Ihttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06054132658311356640noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9193316819499446317.post-10234315407842272072009-03-23T22:19:00.000+01:002009-03-23T22:19:00.000+01:00hey i really like reading your blogi find it reall...hey i really like reading your blog<BR/>i find it really facinating<BR/>and i am rather young and probably naive but i feel i could learn alot from it, so i hope you won't mind me following it<BR/>i dnt know anything about heroin <BR/>and in a way i am slightly jealous of your life, you seem so cool (minus the whole heroin thing)<BR/>i really like your art work too<BR/>reminds me of some of francis bacons stuff(hope that doesn't offend you)<BR/>rather inspiring<BR/>well thanks for letting me have an insight on your life<BR/>bye <BR/>harriotte xHarriotte ...& Ihttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06054132658311356640noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9193316819499446317.post-84709109201601859232009-03-20T05:26:00.000+01:002009-03-20T05:26:00.000+01:00Eve,If you like it then it was worth writing.Thank...Eve,<BR/><BR/>If you like it then it was worth writing.<BR/><BR/>Thanks for your message & I hope you continue to read & enjoy. <BR/><BR/>Shane.Memoirs of a Heroinheadhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17401281805284793756noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9193316819499446317.post-33236486055892321442009-03-19T23:30:00.000+01:002009-03-19T23:30:00.000+01:00Your blog is like a book I can't put downEve xYour blog is like a book I can't put down<BR/><BR/>Eve x.https://www.blogger.com/profile/11549760419539408987noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9193316819499446317.post-55456469637989553552009-03-15T18:47:00.000+01:002009-03-15T18:47:00.000+01:00WagerWitch,Thank you for your comment and complime...WagerWitch,<BR/><BR/>Thank you for your comment and compliment!!!<BR/><BR/>The line you quote is just me being honest... heroin damages the body, the veins and the internal organs. I know that and I continue to do it. But it's like many things we do... If we analyse it breathing is unhealthy! ;)<BR/><BR/>Gambling... I know a bit about this. I spent a few years chucking any spare money I had on the back of dogs & horses. It was a high. I can't relate it to drugs because thats a synthetic thing and gambling is a natural high. I don't say it's good - just natural.<BR/><BR/>It's probably better that your opiod receptors seem to be blocked... . being an addict and being straight are very similar. That is why I always tell people: if you don't know drugs you don't need them. Addicts end up using just to feel normal.<BR/><BR/>Thanks once again for all you say... it means a lot.<BR/><BR/>Take care, Shane.Memoirs of a Heroinheadhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17401281805284793756noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9193316819499446317.post-87409537358760389342009-03-15T18:15:00.000+01:002009-03-15T18:15:00.000+01:00I'm right with the first commenter - Excellent wri...I'm right with the first commenter - Excellent writing - excellent skill...<BR/><BR/>But wish that I could not have this phrase ringing through my head:<BR/><BR/>But above all, heroin is a slow death - it is the way non-suicidal people choose to kill themselves. Heroin is how I will kill myself..."<BR/><BR/><BR/>It is by far the most sad statement on your entire blog.<BR/><BR/>I am one of the few unlucky people that processes Opiods differently than others. They do not give me a kick. I have a pain disorder and due to that Opiods stop my receptors from feeling actual pain - but never a single high.<BR/><BR/>I found that out by accident when someone took one of my medications and totally went through a euphoric state... I was like WOW - I never felt like that.<BR/><BR/>Ended up being studied by my doctor and pharmacist and all sorts of people.<BR/><BR/>Something about the MU Receptor and the PU receptor... So addiction is something I cannot personally understand when it comes to drugs and alcohol.<BR/><BR/>Gambling - on the other hand... LOL!<BR/><BR/>Anyhow - I wish you well - I enjoyed reading your writing - consider publishing - just like your blog is written.<BR/><BR/>I think it would be a good wakeup call.<BR/><BR/>WagerWitchWagerWitchhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00214977648810644363noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9193316819499446317.post-20648098469815977012009-03-14T23:48:00.000+01:002009-03-14T23:48:00.000+01:00Darren, take heart that I NEVER promote drugs or a...Darren, take heart that I NEVER promote drugs or advise the use of heroin (or any substance). If a certain sentence seems to put the drug in a good light, one can be sure that somewhere else in my blog there is a statement showing the bad and the ugly and the dirty. <BR/><BR/>I really want to portray the truth of drug addiction and not anti or pro-drug opinions. The truth of addiction is not romantic, pretty or clean... this will show. As long as you feel I stick to this intention, I think you've got nothing to feel tentative about. <BR/><BR/>Don't ever be shy in making your voice heard... if you think I ever go over the line, or am not giving an honest reflection, say so. It will never offend me & we need people on both sides of the fence giving their opinions.<BR/><BR/>I hope you stay with us... Best Wishes, Shane.Memoirs of a Heroinheadhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17401281805284793756noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9193316819499446317.post-85747531550231378542009-03-14T12:25:00.000+01:002009-03-14T12:25:00.000+01:00Oh I am so torn. I am very anti-drugs and their pr...Oh I am so torn. I am very anti-drugs and their promotion in any way (even in an indirect way, as on your blog) pains me. That said, you have such a wonderful style of writing. Beautiful!<BR/><BR/>You have a tentative subscriber here. :)Darrenhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16738337397318550770noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9193316819499446317.post-34447727159267574632009-03-09T06:51:00.000+01:002009-03-09T06:51:00.000+01:00Starrlight, it's very kind what you say... it ...Starrlight, it's very kind what you say... it makes me sad when people are so nice. I mean that in a nice way... It gives me hope in humanity.<BR/><BR/>Your blog is wonderful... I enjoy people who obviously have a love for certain things. Though I'm a little worried by your admiration for U2! ;) No, I really love their early albums.<BR/><BR/>Take care & enjoy the blog. ShaneMemoirs of a Heroinheadhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17401281805284793756noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9193316819499446317.post-6281188458132097882009-03-08T21:49:00.000+01:002009-03-08T21:49:00.000+01:00First off thank you for following my blog. I take ...First off thank you for following my blog. I take it as a compliment from a writer as talented as yourself. <BR/><BR/>I won't preach even though I am not nor have I ever used any major drugs. I think God did me a huge favor and gave me and inborn ability to disconnect from people and places. It's that or the fact that my parents were jacked up on acid and it altered my zygote DNA in utero ;)<BR/><BR/>But I completely understand the allure and the lack of remorse. I just hope a publishing deal finds it's way to you because I really think you have something here.Cinnamon Girl https://www.blogger.com/profile/06542122037324196279noreply@blogger.com