tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9193316819499446317.post529480863032013601..comments2024-03-28T11:19:25.795+01:00Comments on - Memoires of a Heroinhead -: Methadone Maintenance & Continental Socks.Memoirs of a Heroinheadhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17401281805284793756noreply@blogger.comBlogger59125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9193316819499446317.post-21679573106925016152012-02-16T01:20:22.222+01:002012-02-16T01:20:22.222+01:00Hi,I m from Portugal I have 40 years old,I took my...Hi,I m from Portugal I have 40 years old,I took my first smoke of heroin when I was 18, and and for the next 12 years I never stop... after I start using subutex,wich make me stop the use of heroin...BUT for the last 10 years I take 24mg /subutex) a day and in the last year I took 16mg a day...so now I think it´s time to stop,.<br />I ask you, if you please can tell me how much months will I suffer the privacion of subutex if I dont take it anymore?.Thanks<br /><br />ps-sorry my Inglish and I never take heroin again since de 2000.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9193316819499446317.post-71452725212555178282009-05-25T03:42:58.654+02:002009-05-25T03:42:58.654+02:00Cathy,
In response to your 1st comment... that's ...Cathy,<br /><br />In response to your 1st comment... that's exactly how MMT should work and should be prescribed. In suc ways you could say it is succesful. It must go a long way to stopping a lot of desperate, last minute crime that is associated with addiction. It may even save lives, as I know many who have shared needles in pure desperation... it was ether that or be sick and they've gambled. With a proper methadone back-up they may not have taken that choice.<br /><br />The french system is nearer to yours than the British, but still has too many punishments and it's aim is unrealistic (to have addicts stop completely). <br /><br />As for Xanax, I've never used it... in fact, I use no other drug other than H. I can't bare tranquilizers or sleepers or anything that has a drunken effect. I think in H I found what I was looking for. Also, if I do use any other drug or drink, I instantly want H to bring me back to a place I know and feel comfortable.<br /><br />Many thanks for all the input, S. xMemoirs of a Heroinheadhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17401281805284793756noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9193316819499446317.post-65697921701455743402009-05-25T03:30:38.373+02:002009-05-25T03:30:38.373+02:00Cathy,
Hiya again and thanks fro all your comment...Cathy,<br /><br />Hiya again and thanks fro all your comments and time.<br /><br />Yes,I said in an earlier comment that although the post was a little negative in terms of MMT, I still think it has a place in treatment. You are not the first person that I know it worked well for. My mother has been stable on Meth for nearly 6 years now (with no relapses) as have a few friends. My post was more concentrating on the huge percentage of failed treatment and my own problems with it. Personally, I'd need diamorphine (at the moment anyway) if I was to think of quitting. I am on MMt at the moment, have been for the last 5 years, but use almost daily on top. It is still good for a backup... anything is better than being ill and not being able to function.<br /><br />BW, Shane. xMemoirs of a Heroinheadhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17401281805284793756noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9193316819499446317.post-3333266959411565262009-05-25T00:22:10.592+02:002009-05-25T00:22:10.592+02:00Damn lol sorry but I had to come back today. Firs...Damn lol sorry but I had to come back today. First, correction on spelling Benzo wrong. No z, I was on a roll. Second - dose? Anywhere from 10 to 250 mgs everyone sees the Doc to establish what's needed, and as I say, a bit more so you can stash some. They're realistic, they know you'll do it anyway. OH YES - We didn't get off once a day with smack, so why get dosed once a day? So someone on 150 mgs takes 50 mgs three times a day - I know it's supplanting one habit for another, but the "other" is legal, clean, has counseling, friends, will never say "I'm not holding" like a connection will, they never run out, you're given respect and allowed to keep your dignity - if you chose. Must be boringly obvious by now I'm a MMT advocate by way of experience. In the yrs I've been one, I've become a paralegal, a certified lab tech, and worked as a coroner's ass''t, not too shabby. Couldn't have done it on my own, so credit where it's due - MMT let me re-claim my life, sans jumk. I give you props for being honest, I hopefully give you the benefit of life experience since the time I've been on MMT is twice the time you've been alive. Stay well.Cathyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13788060917420508410noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9193316819499446317.post-30348605754344425862009-05-24T08:52:40.878+02:002009-05-24T08:52:40.878+02:00Forgot to mention: The clinic opens at 6 a.m. and...Forgot to mention: The clinic opens at 6 a.m. and closes at 6 p.m. you come when you can. I see you mention Xanax. Bendo is the #1 chemical that comes up in a dirty urine. If it's not unreasonable, it's allowed. But you have to own this new addiction yourself, there's no treatment for bendodiazepines. So most don't bother except when they feel depressed, it's a now and then thing. As for crack, it's not even an issue. Crack users are NEVER given methadone, it won't help. Yes Nick, nourishing a habit is a full-time job. Still, I think the "managed" addict works well. With MMT if you nod, you're probably on too high a dose. If you WANT to nod, do it after work, at home. Not on a lampost. Manage yourself. Nodding out is just like saying "I'm not part of this life right now, I want to sleep and not dream" so off you go. Where's the crime? It's when you nod into the steering wheel that tells you something's up.Cathyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13788060917420508410noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9193316819499446317.post-74374248264871563072009-05-24T08:38:07.422+02:002009-05-24T08:38:07.422+02:00This is startling! Not just the clinic's Dr's mor...This is startling! Not just the clinic's Dr's moronic rationale, but the fact that you don't get a methadone script for the month, as we do here in New Jersey. You come into the clinic DEFINITELY not sick, and if you're in active w/drawal a friendly counselor will tell you where to cop, quickly, and come back. You're transferred onto a holding 60 mg dose of methadone hydrochloride and built up gradually. Typical dose is 120 mg and most don't drink it all, it's your right and your prerogative. When given your dose at the window if you don't want it all it's put in a bottle for you. You come back each day for about 10 days, then you're given take-homes for 2 weeks. Then a month. You use them as you see fit - if you're intention is to remain on smack, the meth will tide you over in times of sickness. If you want to live w/o H, the meth will start you on that road - and you must make that decision because it's a chemical mess in your brain - the endorphins you ruined while taking smack now must be repaired - for life. MMT or meth maintenance treatment is for life, you take your Rx each day as a diabetic takes insulin. It's the brain's need, not a psyche one. It's real. I couldn't believe what you went through! Here, though urines are taken randomly, a dirty doesn't mean anything but what is obvious. Not one single milligram is cut from your dose, and in fact it's raised if you feel you need it. Since you presented a dirty, it's assumed by your case worker that you're having a slip-up time, a need for the old feeling, and trying to recapture it. No biggy, just give the MMT a try and not half-heartedly. I can't understand the medical so-called profession in some areas of the world which still thinks it knows what's right for opiate addicts. Here you're treated as the expert you are, on yourself and your opioid needs - your BRAIN'S need for serotonin, for dopamine, etc. It may've taken yrs to get to this place but heck, at least we made it. A script for the month. You decide your own fate.Cathyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13788060917420508410noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9193316819499446317.post-52904241360303107792009-05-22T01:24:57.111+02:002009-05-22T01:24:57.111+02:00hello, shane. i've been in a bit of a rut lately, ...hello, shane. i've been in a bit of a rut lately, not making the blog rounds like i once did. so many kids, so little time here in oklahoma...my little life and world. <br /><br />i did not realize you were married, but am so happy to learn of this. she must love you so much. <br /><br />i hope you guys make it to new york one - day - you're hope and dream. <br /><br />i can't believe how quickly your blog has grown in popularity. i've never seen anything like it. you're a tremendous writer. <br /><br />blessings, jenJennifer Chronicles (jenx67.com)https://www.blogger.com/profile/14420405638287265650noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9193316819499446317.post-68577554536766376722009-05-21T23:25:15.935+02:002009-05-21T23:25:15.935+02:00Gledwood,
That's exactly what I done. I made sure...Gledwood,<br /><br />That's exactly what I done. I made sure I was fine before declaring it. If you do it the other way around an then feel it was a bad decision, it's not eas to have the dose put back up.<br /><br />One other thing. When I was cutting down, the first day was easy, but he second and third was a little tougher. Nothing extreme, but a couple of yawn (not withdrawal). I think on the first day the body still has excess methadone in it, and lives off that. Just something to be aware of... though nothing to worry about.Memoirs of a Heroinheadhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17401281805284793756noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9193316819499446317.post-31896519345074415032009-05-21T22:16:45.996+02:002009-05-21T22:16:45.996+02:00I was thinking of cutting down myself week by week...I was thinking of cutting down myself week by week then coming in and telling them "I'm on such and such dose now" rather than their capping me and the panic of "will it be enough???" y'know<br /><br />many thanks for the offer I will certainly come by if/when I'm in la region ;->...Gledwoodhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09308172310486574510noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9193316819499446317.post-51179932696455566302009-05-21T16:59:39.928+02:002009-05-21T16:59:39.928+02:00Gledwood,
I think addicts need that much for the ...Gledwood,<br /><br />I think addicts need that much for the first couple of weeks... I did. But once the methadone has built up in the system you can easily drop 30 - 40mls in one go. Once the heroin is out your system and the methadone is no longer battling junk illness, there's no reason to be on such a high dose. But from the outset, I tink it's better to have way too much than even 1ml not enough.<br /><br />I was on 150ml in france, and after 2 weeks I dropped 50ml, and two weeks later another 20. So, I was stable on 80 ml and cut down 5ml every week. I got down to 10ml a day like that, but then got back on the gear.<br /><br />Experiment at home first, and see how i works for you. or m it ws a littl easier than th poition you're in, because I couldn't get heroin... I was in a foreign country, with nt much money and couldn' speak. In tis situaionit's easy tostick to your juice. In London though, it was impossible. I tried, but i knew heroin was a phone call away... it's very hard. <br /><br />So just to recap, yes 110+ for the addicts with heroin still coming out hi system, but after that, half the dose is sufficient. Again, that's just from my personal experience of the effect on my body... i'm sure many will completely disagree with that.<br /><br />Best wishes, Shane.Memoirs of a Heroinheadhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17401281805284793756noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9193316819499446317.post-34056551401636215492009-05-21T16:37:07.652+02:002009-05-21T16:37:07.652+02:00Do you really think addicts "need" 110mg? I am beg...Do you really think addicts "need" 110mg? I am beginning to think this is the case. I don't know why ~ for so many years I told myself I "shouldn't have felt ill" because the methadone I'd taken was equivalent to such and such dose of street gear. Bearing in mind when I hit rehab I was ONLY on heroin at about £40 a day which was over a gram at the time, whatever the others had said they were using it was all lies as I was given extra meds in 2 different facilities and getting extra meds in a detox clinic is a bit like finding a hen's tooth...<br /><br />thanks for the msg at mine<br />did you see Desireless: Voyage Voyage? Do you know it? And like/dislike?? I like the gregorian chants version myself ...Gledwoodhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09308172310486574510noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9193316819499446317.post-14848914695920529042009-05-20T23:24:48.345+02:002009-05-20T23:24:48.345+02:00Hiya vanessa,
It's not that I don't belie...Hiya vanessa,<br /><br />It's not that I don't believe in quittig heroin, it's that I do't agree the person needs rehabilitating. They are drug addicts, that's all. They have taken so much of one drug that their body requires it. So the use of drugs is the problem and not the person. Imagine if coffee was physically addictive... would we all ned rehabilitating? No.<br /><br />I don't think of quitting heroin at the moment. i'm sure at some point I will... everyone does. Also, you re correct... all (most) addicts constantly talk about quitting and how hard and horrible the life is... but they never stop!! From what i've observed, most addicts enjoy this fight with the drug.. they enjoy explaining how they are "poisoning themselves", "killing themselves"... "living on the edge", "one shot away from death". I prefer just to say what I honestly feel and know, and that is that quitting isn't a thought to me at this moment. I wouldn't want to give my wife false hopes or promises that I know are not true. That would ruin the relationship. The people around me know and understand my thoughts on this... I suppose they just wait, and are happy that I m well and safe. <br /><br />Thanks as ever for your words... I hope i answered your concern. all my best thoughts, hopes & wishes, Shane. xxMemoirs of a Heroinheadhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17401281805284793756noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9193316819499446317.post-47644461388148424512009-05-20T23:15:51.499+02:002009-05-20T23:15:51.499+02:00Gledwood,
hiya Mate, sorry I've not visited you f...Gledwood,<br /><br />hiya Mate, sorry I've not visited you for a while. I still catch your posts on my reader, but had no time to comment.<br /><br />You're absolutely correct... the prison swerve. I will have to add that as it's a very imporant point. Thank you.<br /><br />During my little stint on the program there I only met two that were there n court orders... maybe that's why I overlooked it???<br /><br />Hope you and the creatures are all well... my very best wishes, Shane.Memoirs of a Heroinheadhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17401281805284793756noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9193316819499446317.post-68256619336206992892009-05-20T21:46:16.722+02:002009-05-20T21:46:16.722+02:00PS: ok, I think I didn't interpreted it right. you...PS: ok, I think I didn't interpreted it right. you do want to leave it, you just don't like/believe in the treatments available, right? :/ x)Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9193316819499446317.post-77526715947232260332009-05-20T21:44:27.382+02:002009-05-20T21:44:27.382+02:00Hey Shane! How are you?
GOSH, I lost 2 posts??? xD...Hey Shane! How are you?<br />GOSH, I lost 2 posts??? xD hahahaha<br />I have to read the other one.<br />anyway, it's just shows how such you love your wife by going into rehab even when you do not believe in rehabilitation. She is one lucky girl!<br /><br />I don't know why u do not believe in rehabilitation, I mean,...you wanna live as a heroin addict for the rest of your life? <br />From all the addicts I've meet, they all wanna go to rehab and leave the drugs behind for good!! Why don't you wanna do it?<br /> Oh well... just asking ;P<br /><br />oh, I have to send you my new email xD <br /><br />kiss kiss<br />take care<br />Stay strong,<br /><br />Vanessa MotaAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9193316819499446317.post-73746150191801105312009-05-20T15:25:59.391+02:002009-05-20T15:25:59.391+02:00you forgot to add to financial probs ~ or they're ...you forgot to add to financial probs ~ or they're on a PRISON SWERVE! just about EVERYONE apart from me last time appeared to be doing this. So I lost heart and fled.<br /><br />2 other points<br /><br />1. you look really French wearing a beret<br /><br />2. do you sell these paintings?<br /><br />ps I was saying I was gonna go to "la belle france" last week (en vacances). Now I'm saying I'm gonna wohne in Deutschland (Berlin) hahaha!!Gledwoodhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09308172310486574510noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9193316819499446317.post-87847257897960653132009-05-20T14:30:08.893+02:002009-05-20T14:30:08.893+02:00oh fuckit i 4got what i was gonna sayoh fuckit i 4got what i was gonna sayGledwoodhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09308172310486574510noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9193316819499446317.post-29118380028420014292009-05-19T19:57:00.000+02:002009-05-19T19:57:00.000+02:00Kelly (spelt it correct this time)
No, you can po...Kelly (spelt it correct this time)<br /><br />No, you can post anything here. if you ever need to promote anything (your work, etc) just let me know. Or post it in the comments. It's up to you.<br /><br />xMemoirs of a Heroinheadhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17401281805284793756noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9193316819499446317.post-40251962815626986102009-05-19T19:55:00.000+02:002009-05-19T19:55:00.000+02:00SB,
There's a few people I don't want wasting time...SB,<br />There's a few people I don't want wasting time searching for hidden posts... you're one of them. They'll all be linked to pictures in the sidebar, so once you've found one you'll be able to find the rest. No more posted yet.<br /><br />More love returned, Shane. xMemoirs of a Heroinheadhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17401281805284793756noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9193316819499446317.post-82954448318078342032009-05-19T19:51:00.000+02:002009-05-19T19:51:00.000+02:00Hiya Kelley,
the strange thing with Subutex isw, ...Hiya Kelley,<br /><br />the strange thing with Subutex isw, it's exactly the same as heroin. before H, I was using Temgesic (buprenorphine) which is subutex. It wasn't used in treatment of heroin addiction at that time though. But it was exactly the same!! Crush up 3 little pills, snort them and it was heroin. The problem is, onc you've used heroin it builds up your immunity to such painkillers, and as subutex is much weeaker it has no effect once the body knows heroin.<br /><br />At the Chelsea and Westminister hospital they prescribe diamorphine (heroin) for addiction. The problem there is, to get o the program you must ahve HIV??? Just completely insane!!!<br /><br />Thanks for the words of concern, but I was just very busy. I was painting and had a few canvasses that were already paid for but which were not finished (too much time on the bog oops, I meat blog (of maybe just B!!!) A little of all three if I'm truthful. lol<br /><br />Hope you're well... life wonderful here. My best thoughts, Shane. xMemoirs of a Heroinheadhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17401281805284793756noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9193316819499446317.post-77388315686919281762009-05-19T19:38:00.000+02:002009-05-19T19:38:00.000+02:00Ryan,
You're never late!!! And if you are, well y...Ryan,<br /><br />You're never late!!! And if you are, well you've earned that privilidege.<br /><br />Hope you're well over there<br /><br />My very best wishes, Shane.Memoirs of a Heroinheadhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17401281805284793756noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9193316819499446317.post-24163005492073036752009-05-19T19:36:00.000+02:002009-05-19T19:36:00.000+02:00Lou & Barbara,
Normally i answer everyone se...Lou & Barbara,<br /><br /><br />Normally i answer everyone seperately but this reply will answer both your comments.<br /><br />There is not an idyllic heroin life... it's hard, and it's even harder on those around it (like yourselves). But there can be an eacceptance of it from the addict. It's better not to be dependent on any drug or substance, but if you are dependent that dioesn't have to mean the end of life as we know it.<br /><br />From my experience heroin is never fun.. I have written this in another post (or comment)... it's not a fun drug, it is used for something much otherthan that. I've never known any addict to celebrate or party on heroin... that's not what it gives. <br /><br />But talking of idyllic lives, i'll repeat what i just replied to Nick: Shovelling bricks all day, or cleaning toilets is not easy or idyllic either. It may be more acceptable to society, but for me it's a worse waste of life than drugs. working yourself into a mental and physical exhaustion for barely the fare back to work. No, that's an even bigger waste.<br /><br />Yes, my wife did leave and it was because of heroin. My first marriage crumbled after 3 days for he same reason. 2 days atually (on the third I drove her to the airport!lol) i've also lost forever the relationship with my brother and sister. So heroin has huge effects outside of vthe user (as you know).... and I never say the contrary of that.<br /><br />I just write about my life of addiction, though I do mention and know the other side of it. But i can't lie and damn the drug just because it may sound better... that's not what i feel. I also do not EVER say it's good. Read all my posts.... I never say that. I jyst make the point that heroin isn't the end of the users life and addicts can also do creative things and still think and hold intelligent conversations.<br /><br />for example, barbara: if your son Keven stuck to his subutex and used at the correct dose, he is still an opiate addict (subutex is derived from the same plant.. and was my first addiction), but he is stable and is able to work, hold conversations, be a constructive citizen. And it's he same if someone has heroin all the time. People of prescribed heroin treatments are exacly th same as me they are very stable heroin addicts... just their heroin comes from the pharmacy and mine comes from the street. <br /><br />heroin doesn,'t always leadto the big downfall.. it's propaganda. i've many friends in france and england who've had stable habits for years... I'm not the only one.<br /><br />Anyway, I'll leave it here.<br /><br />Lou, your 2 cents are always valuable. Even if we don't always see thde same things well... it'd be boring if we did.<br /><br />barbara, if you can possibly afford it, I'd try and keep Keven on subutex. Of course you can't force him to take it.<br /><br />Thanks both of you for the comments.<br /><br />All my thoughts and hopes, Shane. xMemoirs of a Heroinheadhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17401281805284793756noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9193316819499446317.post-18039754639381663032009-05-19T16:48:00.000+02:002009-05-19T16:48:00.000+02:00Thanks for the tip-off on the other hidden post. I...Thanks for the tip-off on the other hidden post. I'm a dolt and never would have found that shit on my own.<br /><br />I am happy you posted my recommendations of your fine talent.<br /><br />Tons of love,<br /><br />SBSarcastic Bastardhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17116577711704241625noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9193316819499446317.post-3678030395851796902009-05-19T13:44:00.000+02:002009-05-19T13:44:00.000+02:00If anyone's interested here's a 'video' of people'...If anyone's interested here's a 'video' of people's experience of 'Substitute prescribing'. They should have had at least one person who had no intention of coming off, other than that it has loads of cliches experienced in Drug Services:<br /><br />http://www.exchangesupplies.org/drug_information/dvds_and_videos/the_users_view/video_online/the_users_view_video_online.html<br /><br />(Shane, hope you don't mind me posting this).kellylebellyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08321429321979125611noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9193316819499446317.post-69197235760165080832009-05-19T12:41:00.000+02:002009-05-19T12:41:00.000+02:00Good to hear/read you're back! I was worried.
...Good to hear/read you're back! I was worried.<br /><br />Heart-wrenching for both of you (and your wife)... I felt that...Ouch!<br /><br />As regards 'treatment', yes there's almost a mutual agreement of bullshit sometimes. My worker told me I wouldn't get thrown off if my test is dirty (which it has been every time for over a year now). Only if I don't test positive for Subutex and don't pick-up my scripts/attend my appointment with him.<br /><br />I liked your analogy of 'shovelling bricks 8 hours a day' of course you don't quite get the same rewards for shovelling bricks as scoring (especially in relation to exertion). I even find I feel good just from scoring before I've opened anything (how do they tie those bastard tiny little knots?).<br /><br />Subutex was meant to be the wonder treatment. Like you say, it's not heroin, it's missing the very thing you take heroin for. <br />I've found I can take b 12 hours after sub to get an effect. The worst part is getting back on to the sub again... you live in fear of the threat of withdrawal x10 if u have other opiates in your opiate receptors (this includes codeine).<br /><br />As for daily pick-ups... that's what put me off methadone otherwise I would have preferred that.<br />They can't seem to fathom that an addict might have a job or even a career that they actually care about. I felt they'd do everything to put that at jeopardy. Of course I can't tell my employer I'm an addict! If I managed not to get sacked then every slight thing I did wrong will be blamed on my addiction even if it has nothing to do with it. It becomes a convenient scapegoat for people. An identifiable 'evil'.<br /><br />When they stop treating us like naughty children... we'll stop behaving like naughty children<br />;-> well, maybe<br /><br />take care, glad you're back.<br /><br />x Kellykellylebellyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08321429321979125611noreply@blogger.com