tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9193316819499446317.post6710236687182323361..comments2024-03-28T11:19:25.795+01:00Comments on - Memoires of a Heroinhead -: Between Two Hells & MyselfMemoirs of a Heroinheadhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17401281805284793756noreply@blogger.comBlogger44125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9193316819499446317.post-50882908232840531372009-07-14T05:48:12.134+02:002009-07-14T05:48:12.134+02:00Hiya H,
That was a important post to write, becau...Hiya H,<br /><br />That was a important post to write, because sometimes here people can start to think hat heroin has NO ill effects, that it is able to be kept completely under control. I only want a trutrhful account of use to be had here, and so I had to post that. I also felt so terrible for not answering comments or mails, andover the weeks I'd run out of excuses. The only way to release that was with the truth... and it did. I felt better immediately after posting it. <br /><br />I won't lie and say that that period is past... it still lingers on, and it still affects my posting. But post I will.. regardless of anything I will do that.. that is a promise I hae with myself. <br /><br />hang in there H, and traffic will pick up soon. All my wishes & respect, Shane. xMemoirs of a Heroinheadhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17401281805284793756noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9193316819499446317.post-83776804744078064742009-07-13T21:42:16.515+02:002009-07-13T21:42:16.515+02:00this is a post I've been waiting for. I knew ...this is a post I've been waiting for. I knew (sorry, I thought, or felt) that you didn't want to sensationalize yourself and so it would be a tricky thing to maneuver, but I was looking for that post that was happening now, not a memory. you know I love it all here, but this was a side I was looking for. <br /><br />also, admitting you were just turned off and not communicating. I was also wondering why i wasn't seeing posts for an extended time (i have my excuse! i just left the city and moved into the fucking mountains - i'm on a permanent camping trip) and that starts the usual meandering thoughts, like "gee, if shane overdoes it, or goes too long before he gets the new, strong good shit, and he doesn't wake up, how will we even know?" <br /><br />That's the kind of selfish, panicky thought I get when I'm avoiding how I really feel about it. <br /><br />Much like Greta flipping over your descriptions of smells (which I appreciate also) I flip over the immediacy of a post like this, as small and ... almost embarrassed of itself ... as it is. <br /><br />It reminds me that a heroin user is always deeply, somewhere, unsettled enough about what they are doing that they may even be pushed to lie about it. I think people don't lie because of heroin, I think people lie because we make them feel shitty about heroin. I used to think marijuana made one insanely paranoid. Then I smoked where people weren't around and I didn't feel anything close to paranoia. <br /><br />Cotton balls: I've scraped and re-scraped bowls until I was essentially smoking metal filings back in the day. And that's just for herb.<br /><br />Also, one of my 'quirks' is that I can suddenly turn off without warning. No calls, no internet, no mail, and I will only see people who come right to my door. This happens without drugs or depression. I just - and I have no control over this, have no idea it's about to happen - need time to myself to think. I have a lot to think about all the time. People insist that it IS depression, but I'm not sad about anything. It's not depressing, always or even usually, to take a break from humans.<br /><br />That's not to say we are exactly alike or that we even do these things for exactly the same reasons - but to let you know you are certainly not writing in some foreign language and that a lot of us - heroin free- completely get it.<br /><br />Peace S. X., if there's one thing I can say for sure you are not spreading here, it's delusion. This place is nothing but Bare.<br /><br />Oh and I'm so glad my friend Anonymous came to call! She always tells it like she sees it, we can say that for her. I don't think she sees so well though. <br /><br />And... frankly, I've begun to suspect more than one person are using that name. They all speak with the same voice, judgment. So that confused me. But the spelling always varies. <br /><br />I'm on to ye, anon!Herbert Barry Woodrosehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13914828266175791354noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9193316819499446317.post-32031351788919762332009-07-01T22:05:57.892+02:002009-07-01T22:05:57.892+02:00Anon obviously has an addiction and that would be ...Anon obviously has an addiction and that would be Shane's blog and stirring trouble. I find that the folks who don't care for me or proclaim my faults from the cyber-rooftops, are the ones who visit my blog the most. Interesting since I just write about the same old shit day after day after day.All This Trouble...https://www.blogger.com/profile/00500426849293742171noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9193316819499446317.post-77113230309574676622009-06-30T12:31:34.032+02:002009-06-30T12:31:34.032+02:00Shane, hang in there ... better days are round the...Shane, hang in there ... better days are round the corner. Love Fishy xxChangedithttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02173276331979535531noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9193316819499446317.post-66433687620529325082009-06-29T23:17:11.554+02:002009-06-29T23:17:11.554+02:00Anusnymous' addicitions are probably the inter...Anusnymous' addicitions are probably the internet, retarded comments and trolling. <br />Sure thing is he or she doesn't deserve our attention. <br /><br />Greta from a 32°C room.Gretanoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9193316819499446317.post-77157574374402727782009-06-29T18:29:36.199+02:002009-06-29T18:29:36.199+02:00Shane,
Thanks for putting all of our minds at ease...Shane,<br />Thanks for putting all of our minds at ease. You are VERY loved.<br /><br />Kelly,<br />There is no one I would rather have backing me up. SB loves ya.<br /><br />I don't know for the life of me why people can't just let other people alone and realize that they are doing the best they can. Life is very hard, and everybody has different circumstances. What is the point in making other people feel bad about themselves? That's not going to help anyone want to give up an addiction. And EVERYBODY has an addiction of some sort. I'll bet Anonymous does too--maybe it's sex or spending or food, but I'll bet there is something. So that makes it hypocritical as well as pointless and mean.<br /><br />Suck it, Anonymous!Sarcastic Bastardhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17116577711704241625noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9193316819499446317.post-17893309072675049852009-06-29T17:11:38.723+02:002009-06-29T17:11:38.723+02:00SB & Kelly,
You've brought me out of hibe...SB & Kelly,<br /><br />You've brought me out of hibernation!! lol Thanks for holding the front line... and you're right SB, I'm too polite to say that. <br /><br />Anyway, it's not the first time this particular anonymous has jumped in from the right, covered in swastika's and minus a brain. Infact, I think he/she spends more time on the blog than anyone else. If you notice, he/she was just quoting one of my replies... not anything from the post itself, but my answer to Constanze Jo's comment. That's something, hey? Quoting my comments!!!<br /><br />Anyway, Anon is welcome back... at least when here IT can't be tying black people to trees or gay-bashing! take cofort in that thought.<br /><br />I'm very well... a post will be here very soon (next day or so). I won't lie and say things have been smooth, they haven't... but I am fine, and my silence is the result of a hiccup, a summer drought and an unanswered phone. Probs of the trade I'm afraid. :(<br /><br />Take care... keep watching and fighting, and a new HH post will arrive (with a dual dedication!!)<br /><br />All my Love, wishes, hopes and thanks.. Shane. xxxMemoirs of a Heroinheadhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17401281805284793756noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9193316819499446317.post-65206196960830084392009-06-29T16:32:06.410+02:002009-06-29T16:32:06.410+02:00Sarcastic Bastard, I love your balls!
I don'...Sarcastic Bastard, I love your balls! <br /><br />I don't understand the anonymous option these self-opinionated, self-righteous twats adopt. They always hide their identity. Why?<br /><br />It's bad cos it gives all the Anons a bad name. Everytime I see Anonymous now I presume it's a nasty comment (until I read it).<br /><br /><b>I would really like one of these 'Anons' to answer why they hide their id (since they know so much!)??</b><br /><br />Are they ashamed? (they should be)<br />Are they scared? (perhaps they should be - according to their 'thinking' all addicts are murdering bastards).<br />What are they doing following a blog they so strongly disagree with?<br /><br />I don't follow blogs by the BNP, KKK, Right-wingers, Right wing Christians, Anti-abortionists, Racist, Fascist fuckwitts etc!!!<br /><br />In their minds addicts are worse than paedophiles (uk spelling). They have their priorities all wrong. But that's their choice, we don't ram our opinion down peoples throats so why do they?<br /><br />They don't even offer any intellectual basis for their 'arguments', just finger wagging or insults. They're dictators, they're beyond comprehending because they don't listen, just dictate.<br /><br />The worst thing of all, I think, is that they insult whilst hiding behind a wall of anonymity. Cowards!<br />Spineless swine!<br /><br />Well done SB for standing up for our pal. I'm standing with you.<br /><br />xKelly<br /><br />ps. SB, hope you're ok. You were really really down a few days ago.kellylebellyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08321429321979125611noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9193316819499446317.post-31075882548923758862009-06-29T15:02:31.951+02:002009-06-29T15:02:31.951+02:00Anonymous,
Fuck you, you anonymous chicken- shit m...Anonymous,<br />Fuck you, you anonymous chicken- shit motherfucker. Shane is too polite to say that in response to your comment, but I'm not.<br /><br />If you're going to call some one delusional, you should at least have the decency and the balls to sign your name to the comment.<br /><br />You are a nasty person. Mind you own life and leave my friend alone. He is doing the best he can.<br /><br />Sincerely,<br /><br />Sarcastic Bastard<br />(I have a Web site if you care to reply to me, but if you send me an anonymous comment, it will be deleted).Sarcastic Bastardhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17116577711704241625noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9193316819499446317.post-20700046486035216612009-06-29T09:19:02.396+02:002009-06-29T09:19:02.396+02:00Hiya, Shane
I just started reading your blog and I...Hiya, Shane<br />I just started reading your blog and I can't summon the words which could try to explain my amazement. <br />Your writing is perfect and I can't believe I spend so much time on one blog! <br /><br />I really, really hope that everything works out well for you. How are things lately?<br /><br />Looking forward to your next post,<br /><br />PearlPearlhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11938195541900966654noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9193316819499446317.post-73769269058820786072009-06-28T03:40:28.230+02:002009-06-28T03:40:28.230+02:00That's one of my most feared places, Shane. Wh...That's one of my most feared places, Shane. When even sleep doesn't offer an escape, because of the "hyper-realistic" nightmares. It's awful because I can't stop being and feeling, even by escaping into sleep. And I think for us addicts it's not so much that we want to feel good, but that we just want to stop feeling. Sounds rough. Hang in there and, like Syd said, stay alive.Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05170906912542161177noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9193316819499446317.post-5547089037838398982009-06-28T02:35:10.828+02:002009-06-28T02:35:10.828+02:00Miss you. Your posts.
Hope you are well sir Shan...Miss you. Your posts. <br /><br />Hope you are well sir Shane. I'm a touch worried myself too. :)<br /><br />Get back to us soon. <3<br /><br />KatKat Skratchhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05655495559755451942noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9193316819499446317.post-67459442021898277672009-06-27T02:07:39.142+02:002009-06-27T02:07:39.142+02:00"Missing out on life... I don't feel that..."Missing out on life... I don't feel that. I live just as much as someone who drinks a few glasses of wine over dinner. In fact, I think I do more."<br /><br />Yeah, keep deluding yourselfAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9193316819499446317.post-91858808271065450212009-06-26T20:24:36.598+02:002009-06-26T20:24:36.598+02:00Shane My Dear,
A bit worried about you. Everything...Shane My Dear,<br />A bit worried about you. Everything okay?<br /><br />Love,<br /><br />SBSarcastic Bastardhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17116577711704241625noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9193316819499446317.post-34251455337960766762009-06-26T15:01:03.124+02:002009-06-26T15:01:03.124+02:00Glad I'm not the only one out there who does f...Glad I'm not the only one out there who does filters 3 or more times!Gledwoodhttp://gledwood2.blogspot.comnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9193316819499446317.post-71227381719648811012009-06-25T12:28:06.344+02:002009-06-25T12:28:06.344+02:00Hi Shane, just leaving you this link that might in...Hi Shane, just leaving you this link that might interest you :http://www.myspace.com/oswilde<br /><br />hahah<br /><br />Take care<br />Stay Strong<br />kiss kiss<br /><br />VanessaAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9193316819499446317.post-54606518846820853762009-06-24T20:03:04.235+02:002009-06-24T20:03:04.235+02:00Hey Ya Kelly,
Oh, I'm fine now thank you!!! I...Hey Ya Kelly,<br /><br />Oh, I'm fine now thank you!!! It was just the first day after a bit of a binge.<br /><br />Yes, I've alwy a substitute, but the first day off the B is still a little tough. It staves off the physical sickness, but underneath one can still feel somethinfg isn't quite right... the heroin pouring out the body. Also, for the first two days, I need to triple my meth dose just to hold me. 3 days (without fail) and I'm back to normal. It only happens with good gear, and it's very rare you get that in France. I will send you a mail explaining the difference as it's quite unbelievable.<br /><br />Glad you're anothr who can get their priorities correct and pay the mortgage first and smack second. Whenever I mention people like you or myself on this blog, those who can still keep a hold on things, I get endless comments saying it's "bollocks" and "are you sure?". It seems that some people have only one experience of B and cannot or will not believe that not all users will sell their soul to devil for a bag... it really gets annoying. When they finally accept it, they will always finish by saying... "well, it will happen... it ALWAYS does!"<br /><br />Anyway, hope you're fine & hopefully I should be in London in August. All my love and thoughts, Shane. xMemoirs of a Heroinheadhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17401281805284793756noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9193316819499446317.post-91375965192949463352009-06-24T19:54:02.065+02:002009-06-24T19:54:02.065+02:00Hiya Marisa,
Welcome to Memoires!!! I found you r...Hiya Marisa,<br /><br />Welcome to Memoires!!! I found you reading a few random blogs and enjoyed what you were posting about... nothing more than tht.<br /><br />Many thanks for your time and words, Shane.Memoirs of a Heroinheadhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17401281805284793756noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9193316819499446317.post-34044349662529258282009-06-24T19:52:12.169+02:002009-06-24T19:52:12.169+02:00Salut Mon Ami,
Thanks for your patiece and your m...Salut Mon Ami,<br /><br />Thanks for your patiece and your mail. You will receive a reply I haven't forgotten you: ;)<br /><br />I've still a spare phone card we have to get through... so we'll speak soon also.<br /><br />Until then... my thanks and thoughts, Shane. xxMemoirs of a Heroinheadhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17401281805284793756noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9193316819499446317.post-33899534698157068742009-06-24T19:35:51.310+02:002009-06-24T19:35:51.310+02:00hope you're bearin up!
Have you got a substi...hope you're bearin up! <br /><br />Have you got a substitute to get u thru? I know it's the equivalent of chemical castration for addicts but at least you won't be ill.<br /><br />I've had to stick to the script cos I've been too bad of late. It's been too good and too easy. I could easily rattle through £60 a day (when £20 was enough before). My mortgage demands it. That's the price you pay for being a functional addict... ups and downs.<br /><br />I got some DVDs at the weekend; 'La Haine' (loved the bit with the NWA sample 'Fuck tha police') and a Truffaut film about a murderess 'Une belle fille comme moi'. So got something to watch if telly is crap (as it usually is).<br /><br />I hope your leg(s) is better and swelling gone down. i don't need to tell you to get to a doctor if not.<br /><br />take care x Kelly xkellylebellyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08321429321979125611noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9193316819499446317.post-76257527543244388712009-06-24T00:53:33.307+02:002009-06-24T00:53:33.307+02:00I'm not sure how you found my blog or why you ...I'm not sure how you found my blog or why you added me, but thank you for doing so. I've added this blog to my list to follow; I look forward to reading what you write.Marisa Jeannehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00096083465555035877noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9193316819499446317.post-41415760276700752132009-06-23T19:37:56.772+02:002009-06-23T19:37:56.772+02:00Mon cher ami...
Well, I was wondering about the l...Mon cher ami...<br /><br />Well, I was wondering about the lack of response to my email. And now I know.<br /><br />I continue to wait with patience. <br /><br />As ever, your old friend...<br /><br />A. xxAndynoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9193316819499446317.post-65350546789369314782009-06-22T22:20:28.481+02:002009-06-22T22:20:28.481+02:00"A pizza crust smiles at me"
Awesome. M..."A pizza crust smiles at me"<br /><br />Awesome. Mine only always frown.<br />No... really. Favorite line besides the smelly one. <br />Trifle girl is interested in the pizza topping. And in the chocolate bar brands. And in how you're right now?! Were you able to fix it? Hope you're save and and happy by now. x!Gretanoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9193316819499446317.post-77743527723818844952009-06-22T21:30:49.497+02:002009-06-22T21:30:49.497+02:00Hiya Syd,
Actualy it's not what i enjoy... we...Hiya Syd,<br /><br />Actualy it's not what i enjoy... went little crazy. I've lived out my addictin using quite moderately and cannot bare feeling as I did sunday morning. It's too much a strain on the body. It's not often tht happens and there was no other reasothatn there was a strong batch of gear around. I see it as a waste of time. I slept for 5 days (or I may have well have done) didn't read, write paint nor blog. All the things that are important to me I let slip. Anyhow, back on track now an that's what's important.<br /><br />Thanks as always for your time and words. My very best, Shane.Memoirs of a Heroinheadhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17401281805284793756noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9193316819499446317.post-63726433504133531642009-06-22T21:23:04.519+02:002009-06-22T21:23:04.519+02:00Hiya SB,
Nothing deep to impart on myself this wr...Hiya SB,<br /><br />Nothing deep to impart on myself this wretched day... but tomorrow is Tuesday and on tuesdays I give roses to the dogs. That means all is well again.<br /><br />Love pocketed and returned, Shane. xMemoirs of a Heroinheadhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17401281805284793756noreply@blogger.com