tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9193316819499446317.post1162477435483682513..comments2024-03-28T11:19:25.795+01:00Comments on - Memoires of a Heroinhead -: Hopping the Wagon: Day 1Memoirs of a Heroinheadhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17401281805284793756noreply@blogger.comBlogger20125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9193316819499446317.post-81868769955866666142010-09-03T20:09:59.592+02:002010-09-03T20:09:59.592+02:00I hope that you do kick it. You deserve a lot more...I hope that you do kick it. You deserve a lot more than this half-life.Sydhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05642843245634635843noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9193316819499446317.post-67116924076619382552010-09-01T23:03:29.197+02:002010-09-01T23:03:29.197+02:00Hiya Heftman, hope you're doing well?
It'...Hiya Heftman, hope you're doing well?<br /><br />It's complicated. I mean, I'm not quitting, just trying to stick to my script for a while. <br /><br />The hole in the spirit thing... I don't see it like that. when I first started heroin it was that, for sure, but now no. The pain I initially used to cover is long gone, my addiction is now into another stage, one that is not easy to define or explain. So I don't think there will be a hole in my spirit (not that I believe in spirits). I think there will be a hole in my day, what to do when not cooking up fixes, searching for veins and rocking away in a world that seems for me. But that will be filled with creativity. My urge as an artist is as great as my urge as a junkie. If junk was all someone was, then it'd be pretty sad. So I think there is life and there is hope. But not hope for a better life or any of that nonsense, pêrsonal hope, the kind of thing that makes life worth carrying on with... the kind of thing that makes you get out of bed. heroin is hope. I've never gotten out of bed so easily as when i had a fix to cook up. But other things can also have that passion, we must just find them. Life goes on and death only gets nearer, if one is not motivated to do something else by that thought, then I think a swan dive from a tall building is the answer.<br /><br />But you're right, it's useless and doomùed for failure, though only if failure is not part of the plan. I rely on failure, so when it comes I will have succeeded. It's postponing it for as long as I can.<br /> <br />As I say, I doubt I'll get pâssed 3 days, but that's still three days of writing (or writhing). But seriously, quitting and staying clean is an unrealistic hope, but having a timed break is not. It's not easy, but if the right passion motivates it, it's not impossible either.<br /><br />I'm not sure what, if any, sense any of that makes. i wrote on auto and can't be arsed proof reading it. <br /><br />I see there's other comments of yours, so we'll speak again very soon...<br /><br />All My Thoughts, Shane. xMemoirs of a Heroinheadhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17401281805284793756noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9193316819499446317.post-10484528439807658372010-09-01T22:41:24.991+02:002010-09-01T22:41:24.991+02:00SB,
A lon long long shot... so long that no one w...SB,<br /><br />A lon long long shot... so long that no one will evber know if it hoops or not.<br /><br />Hope you're well... and <will give alonger response to your other comments.<br /><br />Love as always, Shane. xMemoirs of a Heroinheadhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17401281805284793756noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9193316819499446317.post-3664161868342584352010-09-01T22:39:58.710+02:002010-09-01T22:39:58.710+02:00Hi Joe,
I think any addiction is as bad or as goo...Hi Joe,<br /><br />I think any addiction is as bad or as good as the other. It's the suffering (if you suffer for it) that is relative. I think there are as many suicides or attempted suicides amongst obese people as there are amongst addicts. It's the misery that is compelling them to do that stuff.<br /><br />Err, actually, now thinking of it, you question is quite a huge one. I'm gonna pass going into just now (only because of time) and what I wrote above can probably be scrapped. <br /><br />xMemoirs of a Heroinheadhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17401281805284793756noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9193316819499446317.post-3518672971654743402010-09-01T22:34:07.101+02:002010-09-01T22:34:07.101+02:00Kympton,
I'm gonna mail you. XKympton,<br /><br />I'm gonna mail you. XMemoirs of a Heroinheadhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17401281805284793756noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9193316819499446317.post-67987994790842181362010-09-01T22:33:28.931+02:002010-09-01T22:33:28.931+02:00Ruth, if your liver starts kicking too hard soothe...Ruth, if your liver starts kicking too hard soothe it down with these words:<br /><br />Shane has only once gone more than 2 weeks without a relapse. Usually he doesn't get past the fourth day.<br /><br />Positive thinking always helps... this feels like some kind of a joke.<br /><br />Love across the web, Shane. XXXMemoirs of a Heroinheadhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17401281805284793756noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9193316819499446317.post-43364018573961874932010-09-01T22:30:57.002+02:002010-09-01T22:30:57.002+02:00Cubanredundant,
The junket's more or less the...Cubanredundant,<br /><br />The junket's more or less the same anywhere, I guess? London, New York, Lyon, Durban, Adelaide... heroin is heroin and the face is always the same. Sometimes the dealers change, sometimes the venue changes, but that feel... that junked up mentality never changes. Heroin is an internal thing, I suppose that's why it's so great.<br /><br />And it is great.<br /><br />XMemoirs of a Heroinheadhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17401281805284793756noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9193316819499446317.post-18688393470542557452010-09-01T22:26:15.513+02:002010-09-01T22:26:15.513+02:00Longy,
i see a new avatar!!! You muyst have won s...Longy,<br /><br />i see a new avatar!!! You muyst have won something, haha.<br /><br />Oh, it won't be too bad. I do this every two days, just this time I'll try and make it last a little longer.<br /><br />Hope you're really well, Shane. xMemoirs of a Heroinheadhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17401281805284793756noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9193316819499446317.post-22597941615681742802010-09-01T22:24:29.543+02:002010-09-01T22:24:29.543+02:00Helia,
Yes, I'm bearing up good thank you.
...Helia,<br /><br /> Yes, I'm bearing up good thank you.<br /><br /><br />Love returned, Shane. xMemoirs of a Heroinheadhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17401281805284793756noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9193316819499446317.post-976668474542676432010-09-01T21:54:59.095+02:002010-09-01T21:54:59.095+02:00And this hole in your spirit which you fill with t...And this hole in your spirit which you fill with the effects of opiates, heroin's sublime sublimation of love - what will you fill it with now Shane? Hope? Holes hurt, they scream their emptiness at you; and hope is a delusion. I'd rather have drugs in my holes, and I wonder how many days it will take you to change your mind? I won't say good luck or god bless or any such superstitious shit - because there's no luck, no karma, no god, just chaos and this shithole world. You know it. You are on your own and you ain't got a chance. Honesty is better than hope, holes are better when filled. Well, at least you get a holiday in hell.The Total Impostorhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00683193981145988402noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9193316819499446317.post-7028265178701058222010-09-01T15:51:53.916+02:002010-09-01T15:51:53.916+02:00I am thinking of you. I hope it goes as well as it...I am thinking of you. I hope it goes as well as it possibly can, though I know that's probably a <br />very long shot.<br /><br />Love,<br /><br />SBSarcastic Bastardhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17116577711704241625noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9193316819499446317.post-11338288777831699302010-08-31T18:38:17.666+02:002010-08-31T18:38:17.666+02:00shane
Where are you going, and what is your motiva...shane<br />Where are you going, and what is your motivation for your actions..Is someone going with you, I truly hope you succeed..But...and be honest now....do you really want to stop or do you feel you need to stop...I,d love to knowAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9193316819499446317.post-21740102950230436462010-08-31T17:17:44.194+02:002010-08-31T17:17:44.194+02:00I so hope it works.
Even one week to start with w...I so hope it works.<br /><br />Even one week to start with would be a good goal. <br /><br />Then two etc.<br /><br />I've often wondered what is the worst addiction. I think being hugely obese must be terrible - you know that even if you are mentally cured you still have years of dieting, then trying to eat normally, since you can't just give up food like all the other drugs.<br /><br />But heroin,particularly injecting, must be up there too. Healing from the physical effects must take ages. And there's having to score illegal substances and all that that entails. <br /><br />So: I hope it works.JoeMhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03821025539339799036noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9193316819499446317.post-54599640169269671822010-08-31T16:43:41.667+02:002010-08-31T16:43:41.667+02:00Shane, it's been a while since I dropped by bu...Shane, it's been a while since I dropped by but I read every one of your posts because I subscribe. <br /><br />I send you my purest, cleanest, healing energy. If you get three months clean from heroin, you will start to see the beauty that exists in the world. I know for me, heroin took away the pain--but it also took away the beauty of the world. Regaining that was most awesome, my friend. <br /><br />Take care,<br /><br />Melindamtyler77https://www.blogger.com/profile/06652489400008501991noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9193316819499446317.post-8941734506239079682010-08-31T16:13:12.966+02:002010-08-31T16:13:12.966+02:00redemtion indeed, shane you hit more nerves with w...redemtion indeed, shane you hit more nerves with what you just wrote than i ever have or could with a works..Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9193316819499446317.post-58041055154190422312010-08-31T14:34:50.640+02:002010-08-31T14:34:50.640+02:00...your poison .. I should really proof read what ......your poison .. I should really proof read what I write xWildernesschichttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00204518870992194687noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9193316819499446317.post-19251606621594599952010-08-31T14:33:49.902+02:002010-08-31T14:33:49.902+02:00God Shane, I dont know what to say.. yes for once ...God Shane, I dont know what to say.. yes for once LOL<br />I really am feeling for you, your writing as always is amazing I can almost smell your room...mm..well trying not to.<br />The thoughts of what you want to do when you get better keep you going I am sure, we say this every night before I pour the Vodka...when we get through this load of stress we will get back on our bikes and get healthy...manana manana.. But, it is good to live in the moment and as they say one day at a time. I will keep you company and refrain from a drink for as long as you can, our poison.<br />Lots of love RuthxxWildernesschichttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00204518870992194687noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9193316819499446317.post-19950670180079882832010-08-31T14:11:23.471+02:002010-08-31T14:11:23.471+02:00hell-o darling, in the same subway, 3 days into th...hell-o darling, in the same subway, 3 days into the unholy storm, two days of sweat, sticky sheets, bright lights through the curtains, pain, porous skin, shivers and shudderings, nerves, anxious, grumpy, should i pawn my laptop for a hit? why aren't the subs working? day 3 or is it 4, good whisky for breakfast, no sleep, but beer and another 8mg finally did the trick..i'm in south africa but did the london junket for a while, here the stuff is cheap is incredibly eary to procure too easy if you have money, and if you don't the dude iwll normally give you a gap of a day or two to pay back...he knows you're not going anywhere. also stuck...have to move out of this place tomorrow with no where to go...should i pawn my laptop for a bag or two? damn, these reckless thoughts...the sun shines and my words are caught somehwere below the breast bone....fear not...i understand..<br />power/<br /><br />http:claireangelique.wordpress.com<br />if you have the inclination or incandescenceAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9193316819499446317.post-69919145212742372872010-08-31T13:58:57.908+02:002010-08-31T13:58:57.908+02:00Hi Shane. Hang on in there mate and good luck! Sou...Hi Shane. Hang on in there mate and good luck! Sounds like you're going to need it. Take care buddy.Longyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08168794648430025104noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9193316819499446317.post-86472503373296843792010-08-31T13:09:44.353+02:002010-08-31T13:09:44.353+02:00Hi there Shane you beautiful man.
Hope you're...Hi there Shane you beautiful man.<br /><br />Hope you're doing fine. Thanks again for sharing your experiences in such an incredible way. <br /><br />Love <br /><br />HeliaUnknownhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09579884801728017812noreply@blogger.com