tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9193316819499446317.post1222571500820762370..comments2024-03-28T11:19:25.795+01:00Comments on - Memoires of a Heroinhead -: Dear Aunt Agony... I'm In Love With A JunkieMemoirs of a Heroinheadhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17401281805284793756noreply@blogger.comBlogger5125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9193316819499446317.post-28374424501362062552013-08-27T11:01:51.105+02:002013-08-27T11:01:51.105+02:00I hate not bein able to fuck on dope either...and ...I hate not bein able to fuck on dope either...and it's more pitiful when I'm a shitshow of sick.snarevoxhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15492087143622923845noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9193316819499446317.post-23938891411791024272011-08-05T00:35:33.295+02:002011-08-05T00:35:33.295+02:00Hiya Sailor, this isn't a negative answer just...Hiya Sailor, this isn't a negative answer just the very first thing that came to my mind while reading your reply...<br /><br />You say that heroin has totally destroyed your libido, and I'm sure it has, but then when you first started using it means you had libido. So even when you had it something was still not quite satisfying you. So if you quit heroin and regain your libido you are back to the same place from where you was when you first started using... so what then has changed for the better to make you not need it this time? <br /><br />From what I am used to seeing is that when we return to the same place after a prolonged addiction on the needle, things are the same only a little worse... worse because of the irreversible damage we've done in the meantime. If sex was fulfilling you so much would you have ever used heroin at all? <br /><br />I think as well I would have done the same as your friend. If your complaint was you didn't want to quit but was running out of veins, well, a decent friend would then try to find you a vein, no? It doesn't matter to him/her if you're using or not... so normally as a friend we try to give what we think the person we care about wants. I think you know yourself that any friend who kept telling you to "quit" in response to your woes wouldn't be a friend for long... just a fucking bore you'd want shot of. <br /><br />I can't really speak around these things because I've never had that internal struggle to quit. Like you, the only time heroin became a real bore for me was when I was sitting there sick because after four hours i had squirted away three bags of good smack and couldn't find a vein anywhere. It is the only time in my life I damned my need for smack. <br /><br />I don't think that 'luck' is a very stable footing to start trying to get clean on, haha... but I'll wish you it if you want?<br /><br />More than rely on luck I would find a passion... something you want or some place you want to get to. I really don't think a dick stays hard enough long enough to fuck the want of smack outta someone... you need something much more. And what if you quit heroin, all the pain, and sickness and boredom that that will entail... you go through that, regain your libido and then end up with a useless two minute fuck like me? What then? What the hell will you ever do then?... XMemoirs of a Heroinheadhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17401281805284793756noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9193316819499446317.post-68799970706225254912011-08-03T15:03:09.584+02:002011-08-03T15:03:09.584+02:00To be brutally honest Shane, the only solid reason...To be brutally honest Shane, the only solid reason I've found to quit is that heroin has totally destroyed my libido. That and I'm running out of veins. A good friend and fellow user offered to help me find my femoral when I told him I was considering quitting due to lack of veins (big problem in female junkies).. This was one of the moments I could have done with some encouragement to quit, not an alternate route to destruction. I know this is selfish of me and you're right, if that encouragement to quit (or slap in the face) had come during a "using forever" period it would only have irritated me. But that's a junkie for you.. selfish, introverted, self-obsessed.. I think the "something better" for me would be psychedelics.. man I miss acid.. (almost as much as I miss sex..) These are my motivations to quit so.. wish me luck I guess.. (just gonna do this last bag..) XSailorhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10750207140367614776noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9193316819499446317.post-18985945676636801952011-08-02T21:13:51.697+02:002011-08-02T21:13:51.697+02:00Hiya Sailor, that's the thing though: what if ...Hiya Sailor, that's the thing though: what if someone slaps you around the face when you don't want it? What happens then? I know what... you score a bag to make up for it. The addict is forever alternating between getting clean and "never stopping". It's impossible for an outsiders good intentions to follow along that wave. and you know, even if you want someone to say all those things, even if someone does, i won' change anything because you know them already and it never changed it up till now. There needs o be a reason to stop... and wanting to is nor a reason. Most reasons behind wanting to quit are financial (or now supply based). But it's the person who's found a better way, would turn their nose up at a free lifetime supply who'll quit the game and never return for a second innings. If we're the same, and the world is the same, and everything is the same only we've wasted 20 years... how will that help someone stop? The secret is to find something... something better... just not jesus or Buddha! XMemoirs of a Heroinheadhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17401281805284793756noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9193316819499446317.post-67067673757532248092011-08-02T19:52:20.621+02:002011-08-02T19:52:20.621+02:00Such a difficult one.. from the viewpoint of a fem...Such a difficult one.. from the viewpoint of a female junkie trying to find the strength to quit, I am often unfairly angry at my kin for being so accepting. Sometimes I wish someone would slap me ound the face and tell me that heroin is death and that I NEED to stop using.. But at the beginning, when I didn't think my habit was a problem, I was angry when offered help. It's such a no-win situation. Don't give up on her though. Keep communicating even if she seems unreachable.. don't judge her. And be there for her when she's ready to face her demons. As a partner, that's all you can do. Thanks for posting this Shane. xSailorhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10750207140367614776noreply@blogger.com