tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9193316819499446317.post2641801492101323538..comments2024-03-28T11:19:25.795+01:00Comments on - Memoires of a Heroinhead -: A Summer on the Cours GambettaMemoirs of a Heroinheadhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17401281805284793756noreply@blogger.comBlogger53125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9193316819499446317.post-64367041752501726892017-07-30T17:10:46.491+02:002017-07-30T17:10:46.491+02:00If you are trying to buy bitcoins online, PAXFUL i...If you are trying to buy bitcoins online, <b><a href="http://btc.syntaxlinks.com/r/Paxful" rel="nofollow">PAXFUL</a></b> is the #1 source for bitcoins as it allows buying bitcoins by 100's of payment methods, such as MoneyGram, Western Union, PayPal, Credit Card and even converting your gift cards for bitcoins.Bloggerhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07287821785570247118noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9193316819499446317.post-61352949849451404622015-11-15T12:03:07.763+01:002015-11-15T12:03:07.763+01:00It's good to see you are generating some great...It's good to see you are generating some great dialogue in your comments. I'm glad you can write such a lengthy response in one minute. This is truely sad.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9193316819499446317.post-8564077082857447902015-06-17T15:07:56.985+02:002015-06-17T15:07:56.985+02:00That's beautiful.
Autumn has a particular fee...That's beautiful.<br /><br />Autumn has a particular feeling that hits me as well. But it's the only season that does.eyelickhttp://eyelick25.blogspot.comnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9193316819499446317.post-85145016691590175422015-06-14T05:21:16.612+02:002015-06-14T05:21:16.612+02:00Hey Lucky... I score good stuff here now, but I...Hey Lucky... I score good stuff here now, but I've just got lucky falling in with someone bringing it in from Bulgaria. Before him, for almost six years, it was absolutely junk here... for everyone (as it still is for most). We are on 10 gram a day habits here! That's how crap it is. If you look at french seizures, nationwide, the quality averages out at only 4% pure... and that's exactly what we have here. That stuff is extremely cheap but you need extreme amounts of it. The stuff i get now is expensive compared to UK stuff (triple the price) but at least does what it's supposed to do. Here's a little idea of how french heroin has nothing to do with what we use. When I was having UK stuff posted across I would often give an addict i knew a little taste... let them have a shot of good heroin for once. This addict I gave it to returned it! he said What the fuck is that? It just makes you sleep!<br /><br />A forum here isn't possible. It would be if I bought the right to my site (the domain). It used to be very easy to do, and only cost 20 quid a year, but now it's much more complicated and I'd have to do so much work in keeping it how it is that I can't be bothered. So a forum isn't possible here, but aybe in the future if i ever buy the domain it would be. XMemoirs of a Heroinheadhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17401281805284793756noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9193316819499446317.post-86444089598887691032015-06-04T13:40:05.073+02:002015-06-04T13:40:05.073+02:00oh yeah forgot to add - have you thought of adding...oh yeah forgot to add - have you thought of adding a forum to your blog? dont know how easy that would be as i can only just operate a computer as well as a 5 year old and also don't know how many people come here - I remember gledwoods forum went mental in the drought as when you googled 'heroin drought' his site came up first and it was mad, posting continuous for a few weeks/months then I think most migrated to bluelight and the thread there had to reset every few days after a 1000 posts had been writen must be on its 25/30th incarnation now - even met 10 or so folk off it..hey ho<br />as you were.<br />Lluckyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15686876329233394806noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9193316819499446317.post-36095560058863366672015-06-04T13:13:13.772+02:002015-06-04T13:13:13.772+02:00Spot on mate - I have always said that the greates...Spot on mate - I have always said that the greatest enabler for any junkie is methadone, its a security blanket ready to bring out if you need to sell and score or if you cant score you know you wont get sick. The obvious way to treat addicts is to put all of us on tapers with a fixed time limit of 6-12 months for example but that won't happen as 'they' know the real deal, that we use our juice as described above and it kinda keeps <br />the peace - imagine the crime wave that would hit any country (in the west anyway)if addicts were cut off from methadone and had no other means to stay well.<br />So you mentoned that you manage to score decent kit in Lyon , how would you compare it to UK gear and is it more expensive - some of the best gear I got was off the street in Madrid - many years ago now and in Utrecht not scored anywhere else in europe - i was in bulgaria and knew there would be good gear there but when your on holiday its hard to make a connect BTW the op who mentoned grey gear we use to get that over here before the drought in 2001 rock hard and nice and gauchy.,,,,still i was buying 30mg of codein OTC to suppliment my phy tabs.<br />All good things<br />Luckyluckyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15686876329233394806noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9193316819499446317.post-72540717152422944672015-06-02T00:36:30.719+02:002015-06-02T00:36:30.719+02:00Afternoon booked off I take it? I remember some gr...Afternoon booked off I take it? I remember some great half days (or saturdays where we knocked of at noon) getting back around home and scoring and then having the pleasure of nodding out to the sounds of the lazy afternoon with the summer droning away outside. There are some days, where no matter what i'm doing or what at point i am at in my life, that i will be compelled to use purely from the memories that the day conjures up. I've a text started about this actually, but nowhere near finished. I'll have to sow it together and get it up sometime. <br /><br />Oh, that's absolute bollocks about all junkies really wanting to get clean. That comes from rehab centres and methadone clinics where you have to tell the staff what they want to hear so as you get the best of what they've got. I had someone the other day (some rich upper middle class liberal who'd worked one summer at a methadone clinic) try telling me that all addicts were really suffering and desperate to get clean - that they were there because they really wanted to shirk the 'beast' of addiction and not purely for a back-up. I told her that staff and key-workers, even those who have been around the addicts for years, are the last people to have any real insight into addiction because all they hear are the lies they encourage out of us addicts. She took that as an offence, as if maybe some are blind to it but that she really cared and really did get a rare and honest insight into the junkies soul. I then said to her: OK, so if a junkie came to you and said in secret that he didn't want to stop, was only there to either sell his methadone or use it in an emergency, was cheating your piss tests with his mothers urine and was pushing for a dose twice as strong as what he really needed, what would you do? You'd have them thrown off the scheme without a care! And even if someone admitted to only a quarter of that, told you that they didn't want to stop just have a back-up, you'd then take that as a personal insult and have them punished... and justify your meanness by saying that they were abusing the system and taking away the chance of someone genuine. So all your statistics and all your 'insight' is based on false information, a dishonesty you coax out of people with the threat of punishment if they say anything other. As you'll know Lucky, it's weird how when us addicts are together we don't go whining on about wanting to be sober (a few do, of course). Neither do we lie to each other about our usage nor deny using when we have. We all know that we mostly only get to clinics or rehabs for other motives than actually wanting to get clean. Not only do I know many junkies who do not want to get clean i know many who want to actively get dirty and express just what a vile world and vile people they are surrounded by. Let's extrapolate: they started off clean and were compelled to use. So if nothing in or of the world has changed why the hell would they want to be clean? Go back to the place and conditions that made using so urgent in the first place? XMemoirs of a Heroinheadhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17401281805284793756noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9193316819499446317.post-34640658959632522662015-06-01T15:34:23.992+02:002015-06-01T15:34:23.992+02:00Hey Shane - im North of town but spend time in eas...Hey Shane - im North of town but spend time in east london - asian crews always have the dogs.Plenty of crap about but when you get to my ripe old age its always gonna be quality over quantity.<br />Waiting patiently for tomorrow as i have some money coming in , all ready, got my order in and a 1/2 day booked off...happy daze.<br />BTW you know the old adage that all junkies really want to quit and get clean? well I can honestly say apart from a few months many years ago when it was all going to shit I am happy the way things are - I wonder how true that is of other users?<br />Lxluckyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15686876329233394806noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9193316819499446317.post-46493506714484026792015-05-30T18:57:27.240+02:002015-05-30T18:57:27.240+02:00Hey J...
The rare occasions I give a shout-out is...Hey J...<br /><br />The rare occasions I give a shout-out is reserved for close friends or longterm readers who I've gotten to know. If a link is what you want, the best thing you can do (here or anywhere else) is leave a working link to your site in your comment. But be careful leaving links as people are always very wary of someone who turns up to comment just because they want something out of it. So I wouldn't even leave a link but would rather comment while signed in under your blogger ID and people will click your profile to see who you are and what you're doing. Writing stuff like "I've detailed the misery i've gone through" will only discourage people from visiting your blog as that immediately speaks of (whether it's true or not) this common and tiresome woe-be-me writing steeped in self-pity and babbling on about the pain and torture of life and addiction. If you leave a comment then make that comment purely about what you've read and not turn it back on yourself and why you are really leaving a comment at that time. I guarantee you that by leaving a nice comment with no personal details or links that so many more will click across to check out your profile and blog/s. And that's not me being mean - it's from personal experience having done the same myself regarding leaving links. <br /> <br />Concerning having annoyed me in the past, well, I only ever attack idiots, and so if it's true, then it would have almost certainly have been because of that. Probably for saying something ridiculous like: <br /><br />"if you stopped using you'd definitely get a massive book deal". <br /><br />Please try to explain how whether I'm using or not would have any bearing on that? I can't be wooed by complements. When I hear such clichéd and nonsensical shit as that, especially coming from someone who says they are using as well, then I jump on it and always will - unless you can give some kind of an intelligent and valid justification as to why you'd even think that. I know you'll not be able to validate that. <br /><br />All My Best, Super Dong. XMemoirs of a Heroinheadhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17401281805284793756noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9193316819499446317.post-6370259280542092302015-05-30T12:20:37.422+02:002015-05-30T12:20:37.422+02:00Hey Ya Vee... Oh that's great you found it! An...Hey Ya Vee... Oh that's great you found it! And as I suspected I was foolhardy enough to actually try and answer the impossible. Oh, you could have posted my reply... that'd never be a problem. Anyway for those who want to know where time goes, here it is, direct from the horse:<br /><br /><b><i>Happy New year Vee... the years went into us... we are time. Nothing is lost and nothing didn't affect us in someway. We are the years... we're the answer to our own equation.</i></b><br /><br />XShane Levenehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03863320007737754609noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9193316819499446317.post-21087216631341232402015-05-30T02:11:50.610+02:002015-05-30T02:11:50.610+02:00I've read your blog from start to end
Eloquent...I've read your blog from start to end<br />Eloquent, articulate, it flows from your pen<br />With praise, yet you attacked<br />I'm fucking annoying when I smoke crack<br />Years ago, so much has changed<br />Now it's intravenous straight to my brain<br />Yes I fell down a slippery slope<br />A speed junkie, a failure, no hope.<br />Now I have joined, ranks with you <br />I've detailed the misery I've gone through<br />You still surpass, so fear you not<br />Would love you to shout thefamousejunkie.blogspot<br /><br />Ok not quite a death threat but a few points for rhyming. I annoyed you a couple of years ago. Not being mean, just saying if you stopped using you'd definitely get a massive book deal.<br /><br />I'm not here to tell you to stop. I too am a needle junkie. I've started blogging, no way as good as you. But any recommendation I would be totally humbled.<br /><br />Don't ask don't get <br /><br />Bless<br /><br />J** the junkie Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9193316819499446317.post-9583703833979340122015-05-29T17:38:05.312+02:002015-05-29T17:38:05.312+02:00Hey Shane- I found it! I realised the question ref...Hey Shane- I found it! I realised the question referred to years rather than time- not that the diffetence is immense.<br />Oh your answer was fabulous but I'll leave it up to you whether you want to post it here...<br />Yes I'm sute when the words just flow they are very much of the subconscious and when we change them there is often a reason we're not always aware of...XGravediggin' Under the Mancy Wayhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01535049480477577355noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9193316819499446317.post-19174295125666172462015-05-29T04:32:41.436+02:002015-05-29T04:32:41.436+02:00Hey ya Vee... X
I had a little search through my ...Hey ya Vee... X<br /><br />I had a little search through my mails but couldn't find where you asked me. I just hope and pray I wasn't stupid enough to try and answer the question, but on previous form I'm gonna end up looking like a right arse here! Let me know if you find it.<br /><br />I was gonna agree with all you said about the 'scissored' gap and add a lot more besides, but the truth is there was no real thought behind that to describe the entry into another world and the cut-off from the old. Though i think a lot of these things are not conscious thoughts but still exist in your assuredness that you have chosen the correct word. It's such a mental process writing that often words are dictated by imagery and feeling and not always an intellectual breakdown as to why such a word was just so right. I think an early draft used your name for the same description "the v-shaped gap. That it was changed I guess shows there is a lot of hidden deliberation and thinking going on. <br /><br />Hope your well Darling... Love returned, Shane. XShane Levenehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03863320007737754609noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9193316819499446317.post-33746905157594861692015-05-28T22:48:52.820+02:002015-05-28T22:48:52.820+02:00Hey Shane,
I've just read this and your previo...Hey Shane,<br />I've just read this and your previous two posts, wondering myself where time goes. I remember asking you the same question in an email once and now I want to go back and find it to see what your answer was.<br />"a discarded mattress colonised by black spores"<br />As always, your descriptions so vivid, so very visual.<br />"sinister, toothless criminality"<br />Brilliant!<br />I love how you describe the gap in the fence as "scissored": a place too frightening, too dangerous for the average non-heroin using person to enter. As though in the very act of crossing that boundary for the first time, our exit to "before" is forever cut.<br />Much love as always,<br />Vee XxX<br />Gravediggin' Under the Mancy Wayhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01535049480477577355noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9193316819499446317.post-8951839095396944342015-05-28T22:38:21.940+02:002015-05-28T22:38:21.940+02:00It's a controversial subject Joe. It would cut...It's a controversial subject Joe. It would cut out a lot of sharing and would be a great help avoiding very dangerous bacterias which casue heart and organ problems from using tap water and unsterile cups, etc, but you'll never totally stop people sharing needles. There is a side of sharing which some do for the absolute intimacy and trust of it. I know couples who share shots as an expression of love. I know friends who do that to. I've never even shared a needle with a lover, but I would have without a second thought if we were in a situation where it was necessary. As for using heroin to treat addiction there is the objection that it doesn't attack the problem of addiction but stabilizes and prolongs it and why would anyone get clean if they are being supplied it for free? It's a complicated issue. I'm a user and so of course would sign anything for free, prescribed heroin. But that is a selfish vote. Intellectually I'd probably come to a very different conclusion. It's something we need to see introduced just so as we have more data and statistics on it, data and statistics which will allow everyone to make an informed and proper decision. XShane Levenehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03863320007737754609noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9193316819499446317.post-40756698400933903682015-05-28T22:31:05.488+02:002015-05-28T22:31:05.488+02:00Hey again Lucky.... yeah they should call that stu...Hey again Lucky.... yeah they should call that stuff 'Lidlcaine'! Where abouts in London are you? XShane Levenehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03863320007737754609noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9193316819499446317.post-53912736647359555442015-05-28T22:19:38.049+02:002015-05-28T22:19:38.049+02:00I was thinking about the process:
'leg' i...I was thinking about the process:<br /><br />'leg' in my mind becomes 'chair leg'.<br /><br />I then extrapolate from that '4th leg of a chair'.<br /><br />And then that imaginative extrapolation becomes Fact in my head.<br /><br />And then Memory.<br /><br />This link is interesting: if heroin were government-provided pure or even legal market-provided pure rather than street sold garbage there would be no health problems - even injecting.<br /><br />http://www.spectator.co.uk/health/features-health/9518302/the-case-for-prescription-heroin/?utm_content=buffera4a50&utm_medium=social&utm_source=twitter.com&utm_campaign=bufferJoeMhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03821025539339799036noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9193316819499446317.post-17069228196296766152015-05-28T17:21:15.967+02:002015-05-28T17:21:15.967+02:00...well in your in for a nice surprise when you ge......well in your in for a nice surprise when you get back to town - im getting 45%min now and decent W but thats from one person (the W) every other fucker sells bicarb and lidocaine: (luckyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15686876329233394806noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9193316819499446317.post-90747427160203171712015-05-27T04:56:37.867+02:002015-05-27T04:56:37.867+02:00Reading it Joe I think I must have been referring ...Reading it Joe I think I must have been referring to a human leg, but in my mind I've always thought of it as a chair leg. It's also strange you mention 3rd leg... as the other day as i was trying to recall it I was thinking it was something like the "4th leg on an unbalanced chair". <br /><br />XShane Levenehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03863320007737754609noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9193316819499446317.post-54401477907965942922015-05-26T22:26:49.591+02:002015-05-26T22:26:49.591+02:00That is weird, the misremembering but it being not...That is weird, the misremembering but it being not completely out there.<br /><br />So I took 'leg' to be chair leg - did you mean chair leg or actual leg? Either would have worked.<br /><br />So I just thought wobbly chair - in fact I was thinking as I wrote - did he say 3rd leg of a stool? But then a 2-legged stool isn't really going to stand up.<br /><br />I really am the worst for False Memories. I think a lot of 'creative' people are like that - we're so used to subtly altering reality for fiction that we do it even when we don't need to.JoeMhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03821025539339799036noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9193316819499446317.post-43694025959543922822015-05-26T04:26:21.827+02:002015-05-26T04:26:21.827+02:00Here's the quote Joe, but it's weird... wi...Here's the quote Joe, but it's weird... will explain.<br /><br /><i>I soon found that heroin gave ME something. Not my mother, not my father, not my peers or my image, but ME. It gave an inch to an unbalanced leg. It made me feel more stable. Up until then a strong fart could have toppled me.</i><br /><br />so what's weird is not that we were both wrong but all these years I've actually thought that your version of the quote was more or less what I said and that it was certainly about a 'chair'. If you remember this was the first line you ever quoted when commenting over at DC's. Since then you've referred to it on a few separate occasions and never checking it myself I took it that your quote was what I had written. Even today I was racking my brains trying to figure out what i would have written using chair and leg. Not too sure about the literary merit of 'a strong fart could have toppled me." But I guess it shows how I take more care about my turn of phrase now and don't just write any old nonsense which comes into my head. A strong fart indeed! Mr Spencer can have that one. XShane Levenehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03863320007737754609noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9193316819499446317.post-78118359827638421352015-05-25T20:17:23.429+02:002015-05-25T20:17:23.429+02:00I don't think I have mentioned my brother. We ...I don't think I have mentioned my brother. We still email a bit but he's moved far from Glasgow and we don't meet that much. We were close for a long time having grown up in a dysfunctional family – clinically depressed ANGRY mother on Mandies and stuff (we must compare notes some time!)<br /><br />On that bus to London I was trying to read Alasdair Gray's brilliant <i>Lanark</i> which is a huge 4 book affair. And it was so engrossing I managed to tune out the speed-jive.<br /><br />It's funny that we both can't remember our own lines. Maybe it's the concentrated mode you get into when writing. Or we're just losing all our brain cells! These days I have to Google even the most well-known films/actors/books etc. Last one I was trying to remember was Lord of the Flies (I was talking about children in the library!) - 'Oh that one with the children all fighting and bullying and taking sides and becoming primitive – they did a Simpsons take-off – Millhouse was 'the fat one' who got his glasses broke'...<br /><br />Yes about the 'health industry' – why would they really want a cure for cancer etc - it would just put them out of business!JoeMhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03821025539339799036noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9193316819499446317.post-5735664813275928862015-05-25T16:45:42.203+02:002015-05-25T16:45:42.203+02:00Hey ya Joe...
a brother? Maybe you've mention...Hey ya Joe...<br /><br />a brother? Maybe you've mentioned that before... but don't recal. You still in contact Have a good relationship? Even if you do, 8hrs with a sped up version of him I'm sure tested it to the limits. That's absolutely the worst thing: being straight or sober around someone who is off their face. <br /><br /><br />"And like that the summer darkened over and our days took on a vitality that had been missing since we arrived."<br /><br />Yeah, that is maybe my pick of the lot too. I like how it starts with a very negative observation and finishes talking of the same thing as being positive. It's a weird sentence and reads as if it's somehow wrong. as if the writer has made a mistake and said the opposite of what he wanted to. Good choice again! <br /><br />I know what line you're on about (chair 4th leg) but can't quite remember it myself. i think it was more something about the "missing inch of an unbalanced chair" or something. i'll drag it out and see exactly what it was. You're probably closer to it than me. I'm useless at quoting myself! <br /><br />Those entrepreneurs probably have other money tied up in pharmaceuticals and the death industry. They make more cash out of poor health than anything else. It's like someone selling you the disease and then the cure. Actually they never sell the cure as that would be a one off purchase and so they prefer taming the illness rather than curing it so as you need their new drugs all your life to keep you alive. Good business but rotten humanity. XShane Levenehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03863320007737754609noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9193316819499446317.post-79527612941377841092015-05-24T18:33:32.879+02:002015-05-24T18:33:32.879+02:00I knew then that she had a huge tragedy lying host...<i>I knew then that she had a huge tragedy lying host within her.</i><br /> <br />That reminds me of Tennessee Williams' description of his boyfriend's brain tumour: <br /><br /><i>A terrible flower grew in his head.</i><br /><br />I think this is a great description of (good) numbness:<br /><br /><i>The shot had worked its magic; she had acquired a delayed response to the world.</i> <br /><br />But of course ironically 'numbness' can be energizing:<br /><br /><i>And like that the summer darkened over and our days took on a vitality that had been missing since we arrived.</i> <br /><br />I thought that sentence was the heart of this: something was missing from sobriety. I think you described it as the missing 4th leg of the chair.<br /><br />I've always wondered why some entrepreneur doesn't hire someone to manufacture the Perfect Drug – one that wouldn't harm you in any way (like alcohol/nicotine/injecting) but would keep you comfortably stable all the time and that maybe you could use to get 'higher' every now and then with no hangovers/withdrawals.<br /><br />I remember they said Prozac was that. But then a huge number of users started committing suicide! <br /><br />My brother took it once and all it did was make him 'speed' high.<br /><br />Unfortunately we were on an eight hour bus ride to London at the time...JoeMhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03821025539339799036noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9193316819499446317.post-20606589016778177632015-05-24T06:21:19.592+02:002015-05-24T06:21:19.592+02:00 I once got some gear that was orange and I walked... I once got some gear that was orange and I walked a couple of miles home thinking I had been ripped off and when I did the first line and exhaled I could feel a warm sensation spread through my body and had to lay down lol..... only had .2 but it lasted so well I still had a tube in the morning....!Dave Hazenoreply@blogger.com