tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9193316819499446317.post3960317705024636137..comments2024-03-28T11:19:25.795+01:00Comments on - Memoires of a Heroinhead -: Dark Shadows of ExistenceMemoirs of a Heroinheadhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17401281805284793756noreply@blogger.comBlogger61125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9193316819499446317.post-60421034274605524872013-05-31T18:45:22.332+02:002013-05-31T18:45:22.332+02:00Go to a doctor if your heart is fucked. Or you'...Go to a doctor if your heart is fucked. Or you'll die. Shafted feet never killed anyone, junky procrastination about getting help.. thats another story. As for not feeling like you belong - its an illusion - the UK is crap - if you want to move on go further south - you'd like asia for surepiggyinthemiddlehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09159292386992355923noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9193316819499446317.post-71168857406639819752013-05-07T20:34:57.934+02:002013-05-07T20:34:57.934+02:00What bt indie publishing, ? Used to be a term for ...What bt indie publishing, ? Used to be a term for self but now there's small publishers who pay to pub ur book, format for digital, pay advance and royalties …only thing is its Pod print on demand, sold n promoted instores just not stocked. Massive amount of self promo required ccos they don't do as much as trad pubbers. Worth a thought although I aint sure which one would be appropriate for ur unique style, its pure poetry just not linear or Ryhming that's the prob. Literature needs someone like you to get published I reckon it would open the door for others like u. Ur writing is kinda like life poetry as an addict myself I think to make the observations u do u have to b sitting still. Ppl non addicts r often too busy with therat race to appreciate the beauty and irony of life. R u still not fighting will ur addiction now it's affecting ur health? I wish I could have ur attitude of that's just the way it is but I'm a lass n society judges females by different standards, if I was a lad I'd be content with it I think. Hope ur health gets better, keep writing xcarlienoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9193316819499446317.post-41189715457299133662013-04-22T09:12:46.910+02:002013-04-22T09:12:46.910+02:00At least your capitalism is of the very human vari...At least your capitalism is of the very human variety, buy in order to have, in order to fit in.<br /><br />Mine is of the monster variety. Consumption for the sake of consumption. Go to shows or watch videos on youtube, or download them, get a chance to see movies when they pop up on cable. NEVER *purchase* a CD or DVD. Only have ever owned cars, couches, etc out of being given them. Even the cell phone was bought for me. No - outside of bills and such, money is for cigarettes, for overpriced lattes, to eat on the go, for substances. Only things that seem necessary to OWN are for the eyeball item collection. Never anything to "show" for anything at all. It's kind of like being a tapeworm.eyelickhttp://eyelick25.blogspot.comnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9193316819499446317.post-66225270888968227302013-04-13T15:49:43.111+02:002013-04-13T15:49:43.111+02:00Shane...
Greetings from Western Australia
I've...Shane...<br />Greetings from Western Australia<br />I've been reading here for the last few nights. I'm not sure why, I never used heroin, never injected myself, and there are no people close to me with any history of this. Still I have recently started wanting to learn what is real and what is myth.<br />I have a question or two...<br />I'm 42, male...spent teen years and twenties smoking pot, dabbled in speed when available which mostly it was not. Surfing ruled those years, on Bob Hawk's surf-team. <br />I always liked stims, using them prescribed daily (dexamph.)in recent years. I sleep every night, it's purely functional use. <br /><br />Sometimes I wonder about opium, why it's not grown by addicts etc...I bought a pack of seeds at the local supermarket. They are Tassies (from Tasmania), the read thing, seeds of opium poppies. They sprout out in my rose-garden right now. It's silly really, I just wanted to see if it can be done...but I already see that it can be done, laughably easy...so my question...why do users not grow the stuff? Even just to keep a bunch of dried pods in the cupboard as a back-up...keep away the sickness? <br />People become addicted to opium smoking right? People like you and me?<br /><br />Maybe it's a silly question...sorry if so...thank you for your writings, I like reading and learning from what you have shared. I'm also reading heroinegirl's blog, which makes me cry at times. <br />Best wishes.<br />Sincerelycelltechhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11860980373252566941noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9193316819499446317.post-67706880653830102642013-04-07T01:23:05.176+02:002013-04-07T01:23:05.176+02:00:( can't believe you didn't answer my emai...:( can't believe you didn't answer my email when i was in France...deeply offended ;)<br /><br />Hope you are ok. whats been happening? I had the worst time btw! <br /><br />xxYasnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9193316819499446317.post-71895362152286085492013-04-02T23:35:50.567+02:002013-04-02T23:35:50.567+02:00Hey Shane! Had to stop by your spot 'cause I ...Hey Shane! Had to stop by your spot 'cause I missed ya and I was hoping you were still around. :) Here's to a better year and I hope your health returns...I know, I know, but I still wish that for you. As always, I read your blog in love and pain and your words are still very much alive. Take care my friend in words :)<br /><br />Poetic Genesis Poetic Genesishttp://www.poeticgenesis.blogspot.comnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9193316819499446317.post-49364293119808155482013-03-31T18:47:37.078+02:002013-03-31T18:47:37.078+02:00Shane, I have been addicted to your words for over...Shane, I have been addicted to your words for over a year now. You have inspired me in many ways. I'm always speechless after reading your blogs. <br /><br />I wish you the best of luck in this corrupt world. <br /><br />-<br />VanessaMa99ot128https://www.blogger.com/profile/01964745666013564203noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9193316819499446317.post-8549063255448008582013-03-28T14:00:14.532+01:002013-03-28T14:00:14.532+01:00Shane... You've been very quiet lately? I find...Shane... You've been very quiet lately? I find I often wonder how you are and if all's ok!? (even from the other side of the world, Australia) Sooo... I hope you are keeping well!! <3 xxxMOniquehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11296773864004612405noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9193316819499446317.post-60913424452750186252013-03-19T05:56:19.585+01:002013-03-19T05:56:19.585+01:00This is something inspiration. The piece is quite ...This is something inspiration. The piece is quite long and I have to read it for like 30minutes - 1 hour but it's all worth it. Congratulations on your blog!alternative medicine cancer treatmenthttp://www.newhopemedicalcenter.com/noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9193316819499446317.post-54554577692361447102013-03-18T21:57:05.952+01:002013-03-18T21:57:05.952+01:00"All I've ever wanted was to be accepted ..."All I've ever wanted was to be accepted and loved"<br /><br />You are here in this weird and wonderful internet world.<br /><br />I hope you realise that :)<br />dirtycowgirlhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04193492692357362402noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9193316819499446317.post-67000107979685862692013-03-08T10:10:27.695+01:002013-03-08T10:10:27.695+01:00"It was hitting rock bottom that got a lot of..."It was hitting rock bottom that got a lot of us into heroin in the first place"<br />ABSOLUTELY. <br />The idea that families and friends need to play the "tough love" card (what has love got to do with abandoning someone when they need support most?) is a part of the same game:<br />"When they hit rock bottom, they'll come back begging for detox/rehab/whatever treatment"<br />No: they'll think, "fuck those cunts who don't give a shit about their own family members" and stay away for good...<br />Rock bottom...yeah...<br />XGravediggin' Under the Mancy Wayhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01535049480477577355noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9193316819499446317.post-45848343306031563522013-03-03T10:47:49.942+01:002013-03-03T10:47:49.942+01:00I love that idea of 'rock bottom' being th...<i> I love that idea of 'rock bottom' being the place the addict needs to go to before quitting, when in reality it was hitting 'rock bottom' which got a lot of us into heroin in the first place! </i><br /><br />Hah!<br /><br />I'm going to put that on Facebook! <br /><br />See how crazeee we are...JoeMhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03821025539339799036noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9193316819499446317.post-84953800062700970592013-03-03T05:19:13.345+01:002013-03-03T05:19:13.345+01:00I'm not sure that it's appropriate that I&...I'm not sure that it's appropriate that I'm glad to see you are still alive as evidenced by the two posts you made in February...<br /><br />I guess it is appropriate. Your writing is wonderful and oddly enough, got me through a rough patch...I guess that's why I'm glad to see that you're still living. You strike me as a strange sort of interesting beautiful. Thank you.necroalchemistnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9193316819499446317.post-36667871869555257642013-03-02T22:49:47.174+01:002013-03-02T22:49:47.174+01:00Hey Ya George, well as you know a functional addic...Hey Ya George, well as you know a functional addict definitely does exist and is mostly a matter of finances. Of course everyone will still say that one day we'll take the drop and descend to the bottom but i've known enough who never have to know it's just reassuring bullshit for people to think that( way. I love that idea of 'rock bottom' being the place the addict needs to go top before quitting, when in reality it was hitting 'rock bottom' which got a lot of us into heroin in the first place! X Memoirs of a Heroinheadhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17401281805284793756noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9193316819499446317.post-42800845553436452372013-03-02T22:44:14.256+01:002013-03-02T22:44:14.256+01:00Hey Patrick... i'd be more inclined to say tha...Hey Patrick... i'd be more inclined to say that anyone who has ever tangled with life needs the good luck and courage. Heroin is just a powder, and only feels good under the strain of some hard living. Thanks for your words and reading.... XMemoirs of a Heroinheadhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17401281805284793756noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9193316819499446317.post-83674241814583038122013-03-02T02:02:37.937+01:002013-03-02T02:02:37.937+01:00Hey Shane I stumbled across your writing a few day...Hey Shane I stumbled across your writing a few days ago searching functional drug addict to see if it exists sort of to give me some sort of validity that what I do is okay. I came upon your page of the description of the difference between a functional drug addict and a junkie from then I have spent nights and days reading your work here and although i am not a reader I cannot put my phone down reading about you. Great stuff I am glad to see you are still writing and look forward to continue reading more! <br />Excellent words almost feel like I was there with you <br />Thank you<br />GeorgeAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9193316819499446317.post-11555059372144916482013-02-28T23:05:32.259+01:002013-02-28T23:05:32.259+01:00'deeply socialist' ... Anna, I just can...'deeply socialist' ... Anna, I just can't seriously answer that. I think maybe you're confused as to what socialism is. <br /><br />'good healthcare' (has nothing to do with socialism. France's healthcare has even less to do with socialism as It's a public/private healthcare... not too 'good' if you have no earnings or money.)<br /><br />'affordable childcare' (that's true of most european countries... but has nothing to do with socialism in any case. But you try earning the SMIC (legal minimum wage) and getting a free creche for your children. You'll have to pay for it and it's not cheap.)<br /><br />'taxes and benefits aplenty' (that's just stating the obvious, and is true of all countries. What country doesn't have taxes and benefits???)<br /><br />None of those things has anything to do with a socialist economy.... and don't forget socialism is an economic theory, not a 'social' theory. You cannot have socialism working out a free-market.... it's a complete contradiction.<br /><br /><br />As for the unions, they are part of the french political system proper and also a french tradition. Union membership in france is also avery low compared to many other european countries. But most tellingly is the fact that UNIONS exist and NEED to be POWERFUL. UNIONS are only needed when workers DO NOT have equality... do not have great conditions.... are not paid very much, etc. In a socialist society Unions would not exist... they would not need to.<br /><br />"Doctors duty to try and cure illness"<br /><br />Oh, you have to be very careful not to impose on peoples freedoms and human rights. For governments or doctors to decide who is ill and who needs to be 'cured' is a very dangerous business. That is just a step away from 'thought-crime'... If they don't like the way you think, believe it to be unhealthy, they'll chuck you in an asylum and 'cure' you. No, in all cases it must be for the patient to say: <br /><br />"I think I am ill. This is a problem to me. I want help. Doctor, can you help me?" <br /><br />EVEN if it's cancer. You cannot just pull a cancer sufferer off the street and treat him/her: they must want to be treated. So no, a doctor isn't there to treat who he or the system regards as ill. He sells his knowledge and advice to those who want it. Healthcare is big business.<br /><br />OK, Anna... that's me done... XMemoirs of a Heroinheadhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17401281805284793756noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9193316819499446317.post-42413377031274580892013-02-28T17:10:58.926+01:002013-02-28T17:10:58.926+01:00Hi Shane. I don't have anything clever or deep...Hi Shane. I don't have anything clever or deep and meaningful to say. I just wanted to say how much I enjoyed reading that post. I don't like to think of you as being miserable or lonely but all without all the shit you've been through, you probably wouldn't be the brilliant writer you are today. As always I send my love and best wishes and like others have said, I genuinely hope you are just being a hypochondriac. Lots of love Gina. X<br />P.S. Do you remember me? We used to chat via email (bmail even lol) xxxGinahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11659077190201650664noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9193316819499446317.post-39490605503955245342013-02-28T03:02:20.134+01:002013-02-28T03:02:20.134+01:00Oh Shane, the entire question of loss and wasted y...Oh Shane, the entire question of loss and wasted yet never wasted at all years and a sick serenity looms. Of nuclear wars of the mind...I couldn't even read the rest of your impending war comment, having been utterly terrified as a child by watching "Threads" and by the much-vocalised fears of my CND, Greenham Common dwelling mother. Remembering songs around the peace camp fire and "knowing" all would soon melt into a nothing of intense infernoness.<br />But what writing. At first, I thought it would be a long story. But I enjoyed the fragmentation, the juxtaposition of new and old memory. Of the reflection in the glass and reflections of the soul.<br />And the smell of public phone receivers: where have they all gone?<br />Today, I saw a beggar chatting on a mobile phone and I shook my head in bemusement at the times I was begging, back when mobile phones meant you sold drugs and the only way to score meant smelling that stale-cigarette and mysterious feline, yes, feline odour on the heavy, black receiver. Back when a call was 10p and not 20p minimum. When I'd dial, say my name, a number and hear<br />"Links Corner"<br /><br />knowing I'd be cooking my way up out of withdrawal within the half hour...<br /><br />Oh Shane, I've crossed continents without having left the country since we last spoke, and I wish so, so dearly that you are, indeed, as hypochondriacal as I am.<br /><br />Two nights ago, I had cancer.<br />A few weeks ago, DVT. Oh, and Emphesema.<br />I KNEW I would die in my sleep if I didn't force myself to stay awake.<br />Just because I probably have none of the above doesn't make it any less frigtening.<br />Especially as hypochondria is punishment enough in itself.<br />Much love to you my dear, and long life, long, beautiful life, filled with joy and many, many stories.<br />I'm feeling so peculiar I will stop drivelling onto the page now and post this, knowing its sense is senseless.<br />Oh, and Ruth, I know what you mean about the blanket...ahhh, you have such a sweetness, Ruth. I will do a smilie just for you :)<br /><br />I damned well wish someone would roll me up in a fluffy blanket and let me sleep for two weeks solid right now. So I shall go to sleeeeep while I can (and death thoughts are far) <br /><br />Love&Inspiration&long life as always,<br />and I'm sorry to have been so absent. I've been fighting my own battles with time and what have yer...<br /><br />Fuck I don't half waffle on sometimes ;) XhugsXGravediggin' Under the Mancy Wayhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01535049480477577355noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9193316819499446317.post-71261629163527184422013-02-27T23:12:49.036+01:002013-02-27T23:12:49.036+01:00Yup, I believe France is deeply socialist, we'...Yup, I believe France is deeply socialist, we've got good healthcare, affordable child care, taxes and benefits aplenty. The socialist government has just been elected, but they've won most of the local elections for years. And the French believe in socialist values -they'll go on strike "pour un oui ou pour un non", unions are powerful, etc.<br /><br />It isn't a perfect system, but I think it's fairer than most.<br /><br />Also, if you think of addiction as an illness (which is the traditional view, I'm not saying it's the right one), isn't it a doctor's duty to try and cure it ? And even if you don't think of addiction as an illness, if it's detrimental to a patients health, shouldn't a doctor do something about it ? (e.g. drug/mental illness comorbidity; or even smokers with lung cancer).<br /><br />Annanoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9193316819499446317.post-30617626060955583602013-02-27T02:12:03.008+01:002013-02-27T02:12:03.008+01:00Hey CHER... (the New Wife(shock!)
Yeah I know wha...Hey CHER... (the New Wife(shock!)<br /><br />Yeah I know what you mean:<br /><br />God, I've not even read everything I've written!! <br /><br />The writing's here to be poured through as and when people like. While I'm still able and wanting to write I'll add as much to it as I can. <br /><br />Oh,>I speak french... that's not the problem. The problem is much more abstract and complicated than that. Even speaking french you still lose so much of yourself in the cultural differences, and also just in the fact that you never crawled and bled and grew in this place. The city gets in you... you know it, and the people of your home town, like nothing else. But even more isolating than you not knowing the people or city, is the people of the city not knowing YOU. It means you go unexpressed. That maybe a fashion of speaking, or holding yourself, or what words you choose to use.. they no longer help to get across who you are as an individual and so you become lost and use other things (like clothes; or certain books) to give your secrets away. <br /><br />If you're behind the fan when the shit hits it, then that's not a bad place to be. So it can matter. In that regard it's like a GG Allin concert: experienced members watched the gigs from backstage as GG always hurled his shit forward or out. <br /><br />OK Cher... Nice to have you here... signing off now Shane. XMemoirs of a Heroinheadhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17401281805284793756noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9193316819499446317.post-28722860545125012572013-02-27T01:46:27.878+01:002013-02-27T01:46:27.878+01:00Hey Russell...
You're one of the wizened one...Hey Russell... <br /><br />You're one of the wizened ones: <br /><br />You know there can be no saving around here... that would-be saviours will only get robbed before ascending alone. But you know me well enough to know I'm not after that and never encourage or try to bring it out. <br /><br />Thanks for all you say... it means a lot from someone like you. Just please excuse the delay in getting back to ya... has been a hard two weeks. Love and Respect, Shane. XMemoirs of a Heroinheadhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17401281805284793756noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9193316819499446317.post-31508393390295383942013-02-27T01:29:09.926+01:002013-02-27T01:29:09.926+01:00I would buy your book. And I must say this post ma...I would buy your book. And I must say this post made me hold off on going out right now, in rain and sleet, to score. I feel the disconnection and how I have already forever intertwined this substance with my life. We can take breaks, we can see other drugs, another trick fix, but we always end up together with eachothers misery and in the search of small pleaseure....ugh rambling. But over the years Ive found alot of comfort and beauty in your writing. Cheers and good health man because everyone that has ever tangled with this monster needs it...Patrick Smithnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9193316819499446317.post-26547091217939162702013-02-26T19:05:07.344+01:002013-02-26T19:05:07.344+01:00NOT a book deal, but the PRETENCE of a book deal.....NOT a book deal, but the PRETENCE of a book deal... a professional looking book, properly registered, available for any shop to order, and at quick glance and to the unknowing: 'THE REAL DEAL'. It serves the EGO. These companies are all working on that premise. Their target market is NOT 'writers' but 'budding authors', and they do not work on any book selling more than 20 copies. Their profit is not made from bulk sales but on the presumption that the few friends and family of the author will buy a copy of the book (even if it is a crock of shit). That is where they make their money, and they don't care if an author sells 20,000 after that or none. 99% will never sell a copy outside of friends and family and maybe the odd friend-of-a-friend. In fact, even those sales are unimportant, as most customers ('budding authors') will order twenty copies of their own book and either sell them on or sleep with them. The publishers know this, and so they make their main profit regardless of ANY sales! <br /><br />Self-publishing is mostly for people who'd like to be thought of as writers... who badly want some shred of confirmation that they are it. That's the truth. I guarantee if one of the self-publishing clauses was that the author's name was not allowed to be on or in the book, 99% then wouldn't bother. Because the actual words inside are secondary to the name on the cover.Memoirs of a Heroinheadhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17401281805284793756noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9193316819499446317.post-85653904680452221842013-02-26T19:04:04.047+01:002013-02-26T19:04:04.047+01:00cont'd ---->
E-publishing is a different ...<b>cont'd ----> </b><br /><br />E-publishing is a different kettle of shit, but in many ways the same. One huge difference is that e-publishing will become a proper literary industry in itself and even big name and properly contracted writers will and do have ebooks. But self epublishing, whereby you can put anything in an ebook, and as long as you have the cash you can have an ebook, that's just for the pseudo-writer anyhow (mostly). <br /><br />I consider my various sites as being the best and most accessible publishing I have at the moment and serves me much better than twenty sold copies of a self published novel. But online writing suffers from the same fate and stigma as self-published writing and it's because the words are regulated solely by the author and that often means a messy death. But the future is online... I'm convinced of that. And if nothing else, RIGHT NOW, is a window of opportunity for a few serious writers and artists to work uncensored and raw. <br /><br />With self/e/publishing, often, the bad points are also its good points. I think with perseverance you can kind of rise above the boil of the pot. I've never had a dream or ambition to have my name on a book above all else. My aim is to try and write great stuff and have it read and if my name gets associated with them words I'll be proud but I'd also put my words out anonymously if I was paid to do so and could write without worrying about rent arrears and the electricity being cut mid-sentence. My name on a book only becomes worthwhile if the book is worthy of my name. And that gets back to what self-publishing offers us :Memoirs of a Heroinheadhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17401281805284793756noreply@blogger.com