.
The wheel spins forward and then it looks like it is spinning back. Crouched down, looking at me through the spokes of an upturned bike, Simon says that not everything is how it appears. I spin the wheel again and try to work out what the hell is going on. Simon just stares through at me, his eyes imploring me to understand. Something unspeakably bad is going on in his life.
Into the Mind... a new season of writing coming to Memoires of a Heroinhead.
Into the Mind...
Into the mind of the addict, the dealers, the whores and the rent-boys, the abuser and the abused. Into the mind of society, the family, the healthcare system, the government, the church, the self-help groups, the substitution clinics, NA.
Into the Mind...
A season of writing that will focus on the psychological, reveal the reasons why and debunk certain falsehoods of addiction and drug use. Into the mind: the heinous myth of rock bottom. Why the parents, friends and loved ones of addicts are not only urged to isolate and disown their addicted offspring but are also encouraged to hasten their descent to rock bottom in the false belief that by sheer design it's a place where the worm can only turn. Into the mind of chasing the first high, why it's a myth and why so many (even veteran) addicts will spout this horse-shit as the fuel which kept their junk carts going for so many years. Into the mind. Into the cheating, the lying, the selfishness, the self-harm and crime. Into the real influence of popular culture on drug use, libertinism and decadence. Into the mind, the mindset of redemption: recovering addicts force-fed bullshit, brainwashed as to why they are such fuck-ups and then blackmailed to publicly vomit back up all those false failings to a church hall full of teary-eyed hypocritical ex-dope fiends screaming “hallelujah” while flapping their hands together in spastic ecstasy to welcome another lost sheep back into the flock. Into the mind. The myth of the fatal overdose, the self-destruction and the deaths. The one-upmanship: the common stock of junkie mayhem that many addicts feel obliged to have experienced: dumping dead friends out in the street; of being pronounced clinically dead on multiple occasions; of ending on ones knees in a vile public toilet, cooking up ones last ill-gotten bag of smack in diarrhoea water drawn straight from the filthy bowl. Into the mind of heroin porn and what drives the desire for it. The attraction of the needle and how that idea plays out to our internal hero, that vainglorious fool who stoops about inside of us and falsely imagines how we are perceived by the world. Into the mind of the diseased and ill, the amputees and dying, those rotting away in dark doorways and the myriads of statistical successes sat at home, sober, but suffering from the insidious effects of post-junk depression.
Into the mind.... Coming soon...
a new season of writing by Shane Levene.
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15 comments :
Wonderful! A lot of that made me laugh, it's just so true. That "chasing your first high" thing baffles me when people say it - at first, heroin was so unimpressive to me, that it seemed pointless to seek it out again, and didn't bother with using it at all until years later. Sorry for being such a lazy fuck with feedback about your Waiting for John project, it can't be for nothing that you've only tagged me a couple of times.. After seeing it, it's put off to read "later," then when later comes, it fills me with thoughts that seem better left unsaid until they can be formulated into something remotely worthwhile, then it's time to pop back off of FB to go chase the Almighty Dollar(s). Pitiful but nothing but true. Instability can be exciting (plus after a year, it seems wretched to transfer back into a life where things like a "schedule" and especially "waking up early" are expected.) However, it leaves room for absolutely nothing in one's life. Anyway, can't wait to read your new writing, whenever it comes.
Back with a bang! I, for one, cannot wait to read another batch of these missives.
Just found this page and already am hooked. Pun intended. When can we expect the new season premier?
Hey Eyelick... I'll really get to grips with the first high thing and will explain it which funnily enough will coincide with exactly what you say. It even presupposes those wbjo will then say "well, we don't LITERALLY mean the first high but those early days when the effect was the greatest" It will explain why your greatest high could be tomorrow and it will also explain why if your first high was really that great the reason for that.first high but those early days when the effect was the greatest It will explain why your greatest high could be tomorrow and it will also be explain why if your first high really was that great the reason behind that. I won't explain more here as it'll ruin the post and as far as as I'm aware it is an explanation that is exclusive to Memoires of a Heroinhead. X
Thanks Ben. I think this series will be something special. Often one needs a theme to work with... Some new perspective to look at things by. As soon as I had that theme of Into the Mind... I suddenly had multiple ideas for pieces of writing that could fit into it - texts that without a greater theme would almost have no subject and then have no more worth than the story itself. Anyway, hope you're well and I'll see you back here soon. X
Hey Anon... I'm just tying up some private projects and as soon as that's done will focus my attention back over here. First post will be in 10 - 14 days.X
i stumbled on your blog four years ago whilst doing a project in college on heroin addiction in ireland (don't know how i ended up on this !) and since that i have read everything on your blog and always check back for more ha ! really thought something happened you there for a few months glad to see your still alive and willing to write and keeping me entertained :P
I felt like writing a poetical death threat but it takes some time to come up with up. I might be back.
/Avy
http://mymotherfuckedmickjagger.blogspot.com
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Woohoo! You're alive! I honestly thought you were dead in there.
http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-tWUqodwSb2c/UawF5FJBPtI/AAAAAAAAFtg/DhPcmFFiC28/s1600/pebblecake.JPG
I am afraid of what you’ll say. But in the same moment, I’m rapt.
Say it, Shane. I am braced.
Soc
Many whole and half-truths there. Haven't been on this blog for a long time, I'm lazy. If one absolute ever comes through in your new venture, I hope it's the idea that nothing is permanent, nothing makes sense, and we all know nothing. Still we need to read about it, especially heroin which changed so many of us, good bad or ugly, and I wish you well.
Can you talk more about yourself? Like your age sex and location? And most importantly about your drug habit? Your posts are great. But very vague and I have a hard time relating to you because you make things.seem so magical and far away.
You are writing a book?
Have you read a million little pieces? It's a book that goes into great detail about drug use. It's easy to picture the author because the descriptions are so direct. I feel like you are interesting. But i want to know more about your daily life. I am a daily herion user with suboxone but it doesn't work well. I can relate to you. But i feel like it's hard to digest such deep essays without some real life and raw substance.
Bring it on Shane. I look forward to you ripping the hypocracy apart.
'Addiction' as a science is so ridiculous. Its so funny that 'habitual drug user' means untrustworthy in so many scenarios, yet the most far fetched statements are taken as gospel for everyone everywhere.
Rock bottom indeed. It's just a cover to absolve others from guilt for walking away and not helping a fellow human out.
So fucking glad you're alive Shane, I'm writing you all the way back from Puerto Rico. Can't wait for what's coming next, stumbled upon your blog a few years ago and can honestly say it was the best mistake I've ever made.
fucking yes...anywhere else in the nhs you talked about faith healing youd get fucked out and on short shrift too...everywhere else is evidence based practise, yet we have to deal with the 'rock bottom' spooks and holy ghosts and brainwashers...
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