Dear A.A My ex-boyfriend has always had a very healthy ($300 a day habit at times) heroin addiction. He went to jail got clean and started working when he got out. It seemed he wanted more out of life and believed it to be possible. Shit happens. We broke up I moved away for a couple months anyway long storey short (2 years later) we live in the same house as roommates. Last year his son lost his battle with cancer. He was only 7. In the last 2 weeks the guy I love so much has started injecting his dope. He doesn't care about anything or anyone. He is consumed by his self loathing and guilt. I know there is nothing I can do to get him to quit but is there anything I can do or say to help him? It was so much easier when he was in love with me because he wanted more but now I don't know if anything I say even makes it in or if there is anything to make it in to. He is just numb. I am scared. Any thoughts or input you have would be greatly appreciated.
Hey ya D... If you really want to stick around the only help you could possibly be is to not constantly nag and pester him to get clean and try in whatever way you can to help stabilize his addiction financially That doesn't mean give him unlimited cash or anything like that, but maybe together work out how you can cover the costs and make it work. For the loved ones of addicts it is really a hopeless affair. Everyone thinks there must be something which can be done, but there isn't and that is the brutal truth of it.
But my advice wouldn't be the above. Heroin doesn't rob people of their souls or love and if you say he doesn't love you anymore then that is a problem which goes far beyond heroin. Rather than thinking how you can help someone who is treating you like that I'd much more advise taking care of yourself and making sure his addiction doesn't ruin your life and health. People have to earn peoples love and care and it doesn't sound much like this guy deserves or would even appreciate what you're willing to do for him. Take care of yourself... don't go so far for someone who you say no longer loves you. It's not the heroin which has robbed that love it is life and time and that passions and feelings change. Whether you stick around and help or move on and don't help the result of his life will be the same. You can still let him know that whenever he is clean or if he ever wants help or needs a friend you'll be there, but his struggle and problems are not yours and don't sell your life down the river with his... unless I'm wrong and you're still both in love with each other. If that's the case then I'd advise all wild lovers to stick together and fight life side by side. X