What's the best way to support a heroin addict?


Dear A.A My ex-boyfriend has always had a very healthy ($300 a day habit at times) heroin addiction. He went to jail got clean and started working when he got out. It seemed he wanted more out of life and believed it to be possible. Shit happens. We broke up I moved away for a couple months anyway long storey short (2 years later) we live in the same house as roommates. Last year his son lost his battle with cancer. He was only 7. In the last 2 weeks the guy I love so much has started injecting his dope. He doesn't care about anything or anyone. He is consumed by his self loathing and guilt. I know there is nothing I can do to get him to quit but is there anything I can do or say to help him? It was so much easier when he was in love with me because he wanted more but now I don't know if anything I say even makes it in or if there is anything to make it in to. He is just numb. I am scared. Any thoughts or input you have would be greatly appreciated.  

A.A Says: 

Hey ya D... If you really want to stick around the only help you could possibly be is to not constantly nag and pester him to get clean and try in whatever way you can to help stabilize his addiction financially That doesn't mean give him unlimited cash or anything like that, but maybe together work out how you can cover the costs and make it work. For the loved ones of addicts it is really a hopeless affair. Everyone thinks there must be something which can be done, but there isn't and that is the brutal truth of it.  

 But my advice wouldn't be the above. Heroin doesn't rob people of their souls or love and if you say he doesn't love you anymore then that is a problem which goes far beyond heroin. Rather than thinking how you can help someone who is treating you like that I'd much more advise taking care of yourself and making sure his addiction doesn't ruin your life and health. People have to earn peoples love and care and it doesn't sound much like this guy deserves or would even appreciate what you're willing to do for him. Take care of yourself... don't go so far for someone who you say no longer loves you. It's not the heroin which has robbed that love it is life and time and that passions and feelings change. Whether you stick around and help or move on and don't help the result of his life will be the same. You can still let him know that whenever he is clean or if he ever wants help or needs a friend you'll be there, but his struggle and problems are not yours and don't sell your life down the river with his... unless I'm wrong and you're still both in love with each other. If that's the case then I'd advise all wild lovers to stick together and fight life side by side. X

5 comments :

J.b. said...

Aunt Aggy, my significant other has been battling crack and heroin addiction for years....he is undoubtedly using again because i found his rig and other gear this morning wrapped in t.p. stuck in the vent next to the toilet. Wasnt even lookin for it he just didnt hide it very well this time. I used to nag and pick and badger and get angry hurt and sad. But ive been trying not to even acknowledge i know its all going on right now and let him work it out (or not) on his own. My question is should i just leave his setup there (even tho i effed it up a lil pulling it out) or should i toss it and not say a word about it? Im having a hard time with this one....

J.b. said...

Aunt Aggy, my significant other has been battling crack and heroin addiction for years....he is undoubtedly using again because i found his rig and other gear this morning wrapped in t.p. stuck in the vent next to the toilet. Wasnt even lookin for it he just didnt hide it very well this time. I used to nag and pick and badger and get angry hurt and sad. But ive been trying not to even acknowledge i know its all going on right now and let him work it out (or not) on his own. My question is should i just leave his setup there (even tho i effed it up a lil pulling it out) or should i toss it and not say a word about it? Im having a hard time with this one....

Memoirs of a Heroinhead said...

Hey J.B...

If it doesn't bother you I'd show it to hi and tell him to fucking hide it better next time... maybe even give him a few suggestions where you'd never look. For your own safety (his/hers as well, if you're fine with it, you should just open it up properly and allow him to inject in the house. Doesn't have to be in front of you, he can be banished to do it in the bathroom... but it's much safer for everyone. At the moment, if he's not free to inject at home, he's being pushed to use around others and it creates enormous risks that needn't exist. If you're in a sexual relationship those risks become yours as well. X

Blogger said...

Quantum Binary Signals

Get professional trading signals delivered to your mobile phone every day.

Follow our signals NOW and earn up to 270% daily.

Blogger said...

If you want your ex-girlfriend or ex-boyfriend to come crawling back to you on their knees (no matter why you broke up) you got to watch this video
right away...

(VIDEO) Get your ex back with TEXT messages?